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In terms of merit, sports has mathematical statistics. That's how you know who the best player is.
Norm MacDonald
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Norm MacDonald
Age: 64
Born: 1959
Born: October 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Quebec
Merit
Mathematical
Terms
Player
Sports
Term
Best
Statistics
More quotes by Norm MacDonald
Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.
Norm MacDonald
I just like doing standup, that's all I'm interested in or good at.
Norm MacDonald
[Televised stand-up] never really makes me laugh. The only one I ever saw that I liked was Richard Pryor, and that was [shot on] film.
Norm MacDonald
RIP Amy Winehouse. We lost a true heroin addict today.
Norm MacDonald
I never do impressions, but I probably should. People like that stuff.
Norm MacDonald
Your worst and most dangerous enemy is the person that injures you under the pretensions of friendship.
Norm MacDonald
Few people love with the violence they hate.
Norm MacDonald
Last Christmas, I got the worst gift a guy ever gave me. He gave me a lottery ticket... what's the guy even thinking there. Here you go... nothing! Merry Christmas! It's nothing!
Norm MacDonald
OJ Simpson was in a different kind of courtroom this week attempting to regain custody of his two children. In order to prove to the court how much he loves his kids, OJ pointed out quote 'Hey, they're still alive, aren't they?'
Norm MacDonald
Some men are tempted to violate secrecy from the uneasiness secrecy gives them, and others, merely to impress you with the extent of their confidence.
Norm MacDonald
There is a very prevalent tenet with youth, that good company is every thing desirable, and that bad is even better than none.
Norm MacDonald
The most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do.
Norm MacDonald
Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, that's funny.
Norm MacDonald
This would have been a great game to watch if we didn't have any money on it.
Norm MacDonald
After months of speculation, the sitcom star Ellen DeGeneres admitted that yes, she's gay. Inspired by her courage, today, diet-guru Richard Simmons admitted that he is really, really, really, really gay.
Norm MacDonald
I've been offered political shows before, and I don't know anything about politics and I feel uncomfortable making political opinions - there's consequences to them. I often think I'm wrong, so I really don't like getting in political or religious discussions because of the giant possibility that I might be wrong.
Norm MacDonald
I started on 'Saturday Night Live' the same time Conan started on 'Late Night.' We just had a relationship because I would be upstairs in the studio and whenever he couldn't get a guest - which was often back then since he was just starting out - he would just call me down to be a guest.
Norm MacDonald
I would love to stay at SNL forever. But you can't stay in the same place. People think you're a loser.
Norm MacDonald
The promises we break are usually such as we are most forward in making.
Norm MacDonald
You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don't care for him.
Norm MacDonald
