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I would love to stay at SNL forever. But you can't stay in the same place. People think you're a loser.
Norm MacDonald
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Norm MacDonald
Age: 64
Born: 1959
Born: October 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Quebec
People
Loser
Stay
Forever
Place
Would
Love
Think
Thinking
More quotes by Norm MacDonald
I never do impressions, but I probably should. People like that stuff.
Norm MacDonald
Imprudent restrictions often force youth farther than enticement would carry them and careless limitation is frequently worse than no injunction.
Norm MacDonald
I don't care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.
Norm MacDonald
I don't know anything about politics. Like, zero. Nothing.
Norm MacDonald
Hypocrisy is the outward acknowledgment of inward shame.
Norm MacDonald
A proper disposition of time leaves a man at leisure in the very bustle of affairs without delaying the attention of his concerns to the last or giving them unnecessary application at first: it affords a season for everything by affording everything its proper season.
Norm MacDonald
With the ambitious, the failure of one expedient is the suggestion of another but with the irresolute, defeat usually occasions abandonment of purpose.
Norm MacDonald
Pulp Fiction is a, uh, gritty, urban satire. Pump Friction is a uh-uh, a bunch of uh, dudes and ladies having dirty sex.
Norm MacDonald
My dad had this thing - everyone in Canada wants to play hockey that's all they want to do. So when I was a kid, whenever we skated my dad would not let us on the ice without hockey sticks, because of this insane fear we would become figure skaters!
Norm MacDonald
Back in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert is waging a courageous battle, which I've seen, because I go and visit him. And this is the battle: he's lying in the hospital bed, with a thing in his arm, watching Matlock on the TV.
Norm MacDonald
I was in my peak physical condition when I was about like, uh... one. Oh God, I looked good, young and fresh! You wouldn't know me now if you'd seen me when I was one, you know? I even looked good for my age. People would come up to me and go, what are you, zero? And I'd go, no, I'm one over here!
Norm MacDonald
It is easier to hate those we love, than love those whom we have hated.
Norm MacDonald
I started on 'Saturday Night Live' the same time Conan started on 'Late Night.' We just had a relationship because I would be upstairs in the studio and whenever he couldn't get a guest - which was often back then since he was just starting out - he would just call me down to be a guest.
Norm MacDonald
Flattery succeeds best on minds previously occupied by conceit.
Norm MacDonald
I hate fame. I hate being recognized, because I don't know how to talk to people.
Norm MacDonald
I don't do much. I'm too lazy. That's my problem. Hang around my couch, watching the TV. Just too lazy. I realized this the other day, I get hit my a truck tomorrow - a big truck could hit me - paralyze me from the neck down. Wouldn't effect my lifestyle a bit really.
Norm MacDonald
The joy a person is usually seen to express at the conversion of another to his opinion is seldom more than the impulse of egotistical satisfaction at being considered worthy of didactic imitation.
Norm MacDonald
Your worst and most dangerous enemy is the person that injures you under the pretensions of friendship.
Norm MacDonald
There's that saying, I don't know art, but I know what I like. The inverse is kind of true. I know art, but I don't know what I like. You get so immersed in it that nothing appeals to you.
Norm MacDonald
None seem to bear the imputation of supposed guilt with greater intolerance than such as are, on other occasions, obviously culpable of vice or crime.
Norm MacDonald