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I would love to stay at SNL forever. But you can't stay in the same place. People think you're a loser.
Norm MacDonald
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Norm MacDonald
Age: 64
Born: 1959
Born: October 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Quebec
Forever
Place
Would
Love
Think
Thinking
People
Loser
Stay
More quotes by Norm MacDonald
On Update, the only real original thing was trying to take away the cleverness of the punchline and make it as blunt as possible.
Norm MacDonald
Pulp Fiction is a, uh, gritty, urban satire. Pump Friction is a uh-uh, a bunch of uh, dudes and ladies having dirty sex.
Norm MacDonald
[Televised stand-up] never really makes me laugh. The only one I ever saw that I liked was Richard Pryor, and that was [shot on] film.
Norm MacDonald
The promises we break are usually such as we are most forward in making.
Norm MacDonald
I don't know anything about politics. Like, zero. Nothing.
Norm MacDonald
Whenever I do theaters, I don't like 'em. I don't think they're right for stand-up.
Norm MacDonald
It got very tedious saying the same jokes in the same way with the same attitude.
Norm MacDonald
I've shown people Richard Pryor who've never seen him, and most of them don't like him.
Norm MacDonald
The joy a person is usually seen to express at the conversion of another to his opinion is seldom more than the impulse of egotistical satisfaction at being considered worthy of didactic imitation.
Norm MacDonald
Few criminals die sensible of their crimes.
Norm MacDonald
Scientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter's moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.
Norm MacDonald
I'm thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.
Norm MacDonald
My dad died, and my grandfather died, and my great-grandfather died. And the guy before him, I don't know. Probably died.
Norm MacDonald
Man, them engagement rings, boy, they cost a lot. I was looking at 'em. Cost like a thousand bucks, two thousand bucks, y'know. Three thousand bucks. Something like that- four thousand bucks. Big number divisible by a thousand, anyways.
Norm MacDonald
Back in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert is waging a courageous battle, which I've seen, because I go and visit him. And this is the battle: he's lying in the hospital bed, with a thing in his arm, watching Matlock on the TV.
Norm MacDonald
Stand-up has the best writers, because it's the hardest writing by a million miles.
Norm MacDonald
This would have been a great game to watch if we didn't have any money on it.
Norm MacDonald
The young compliment their greatness on the number of their friends the old, on the confidence of them.
Norm MacDonald
Some people are so much afraid of being deceived, that they never venture to trust like misers, their avarice destroys their gain.
Norm MacDonald
Your worst and most dangerous enemy is the person that injures you under the pretensions of friendship.
Norm MacDonald