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I never do impressions, but I probably should. People like that stuff.
Norm MacDonald
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Norm MacDonald
Age: 64
Born: 1959
Born: October 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Quebec
Probably
Stuff
Never
Like
People
Impressions
Impression
More quotes by Norm MacDonald
Laws, however divine in origin and institution, would be found of little coercion among men, were the administration of them not committed to mortals.
Norm MacDonald
Envy, like a false mirror, distorts the symmetry of the sweetest form.
Norm MacDonald
My dad had this thing - everyone in Canada wants to play hockey that's all they want to do. So when I was a kid, whenever we skated my dad would not let us on the ice without hockey sticks, because of this insane fear we would become figure skaters!
Norm MacDonald
I'm thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.
Norm MacDonald
I've seen people in theaters, and it just doesn't work, because you're talking to the guy next to you the whole time.
Norm MacDonald
It is necessary to be tolerant, in order to be tolerated.
Norm MacDonald
On Update, the only real original thing was trying to take away the cleverness of the punchline and make it as blunt as possible.
Norm MacDonald
In love, first please the eye, then win the heart.
Norm MacDonald
He that searches for praise will often find contempt.
Norm MacDonald
In giving advice, aptitude is often less to be considered, than seasonableness.
Norm MacDonald
I got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you're all right. I don't have to go to premières.
Norm MacDonald
It is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct.
Norm MacDonald
[Televised stand-up] never really makes me laugh. The only one I ever saw that I liked was Richard Pryor, and that was [shot on] film.
Norm MacDonald
Whenever I do theaters, I don't like 'em. I don't think they're right for stand-up.
Norm MacDonald
Your worst and most dangerous enemy is the person that injures you under the pretensions of friendship.
Norm MacDonald
Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there's always beer.
Norm MacDonald
Were there no fools, there would be no flatterers.
Norm MacDonald
Though you may be last to discover your follies, be always first to correct them.
Norm MacDonald
I don't know anything about politics. Like, zero. Nothing.
Norm MacDonald
All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
Norm MacDonald
