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All my life's about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn't cost very much money.
Norm MacDonald
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Norm MacDonald
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: October 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Quebec
People
Dying
Doesn
Money
Trying
Much
Think
Thinking
Cracking
Life
Cost
More quotes by Norm MacDonald
I sort of have open invitations from a lot of people to do TV. But it's very hard for me to do roles in sitcoms and movies because I'm not a great actor, so if the material isn't good, I'm in torment while I do it.
Norm MacDonald
Compared to politics, I think sports is funnier, because it's inconsequential. And politics can be real important and all that. The more pointless something is, the funnier it is, you know? And the more grave or important things are... You know, some comedians can get this disease where they get serious all the time.
Norm MacDonald
In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers we daily escape.
Norm MacDonald
My dad died, and my grandfather died, and my great-grandfather died. And the guy before him, I don't know. Probably died.
Norm MacDonald
I'm not gay, so I don't know much about Broadway musicals.
Norm MacDonald
I've always been very averse to innuendo, especially sexual. I find it cowardly or something.
Norm MacDonald
Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.
Norm MacDonald
I generally have a real strong idea or a strong punchline, and I just try to get to it by rambling around, as I don't like to memorize words.
Norm MacDonald
It is necessary to be tolerant, in order to be tolerated.
Norm MacDonald
I've just seen really, really funny guys, and if I didn't know them, I wouldn't know they were funny from the television. I don't know what it does, it just sucks it away.
Norm MacDonald
Note to self... Sex with blow-up doll is not as good as advertised.
Norm MacDonald
Few people love with the violence they hate.
Norm MacDonald
I don't do much. I'm too lazy. That's my problem. Hang around my couch, watching the TV. Just too lazy. I realized this the other day, I get hit my a truck tomorrow - a big truck could hit me - paralyze me from the neck down. Wouldn't effect my lifestyle a bit really.
Norm MacDonald
Imprudent restrictions often force youth farther than enticement would carry them and careless limitation is frequently worse than no injunction.
Norm MacDonald
They that are virtuous from principle may receive confidence in every capacity but they that are so from custom or habit, are capable of trust only in matters of ordinary and settled occurrence.
Norm MacDonald
You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don't care for him.
Norm MacDonald
Some men are tempted to violate secrecy from the uneasiness secrecy gives them, and others, merely to impress you with the extent of their confidence.
Norm MacDonald
The most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do.
Norm MacDonald
There are two indiscretions that generally distinguish fools: a readiness to report whatever they hear, and a practice of communicating with secrecy what is commonly understood.
Norm MacDonald
We would seldom be deceived by flattery, did our own conceit not promote the delusion.
Norm MacDonald
