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If you're going to be a good standup, or a successful standup, or a standup who can work for money, you have to eliminate the possibility of dying quickly.
Noel Fielding
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Noel Fielding
Age: 51
Actor
Comedian
Painter
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Writer
City of Westminster
Possibility
Dying
Successful
Money
Going
Work
Good
Eliminate
Quickly
More quotes by Noel Fielding
Reality depresses me. I need to find fantasy worlds and escape in them.
Noel Fielding
When you start, it's not to do with the material so much. It's more to do with how you can control a crowd and make friends with an audience and sell your brand of humor.
Noel Fielding
I'd have to do unannounced gigs because your fans will laugh at everything because they know what you do already. What you really want is a neutral audience that isn't too harsh - a good comedy crowd - but that don't know necessarily what you're doing.
Noel Fielding
I find it depressing that people think you have to be on drugs to watch [my stuff], that’s a cop out, use your brain, use your imagination.
Noel Fielding
It's impossible to be unhappy while wearing a poncho!
Noel Fielding
There's not enough psychedelic stuff on TV. I want the world to be a bit weirder than it is. I hate reality, so I hate reality TV. But I love Columbo.
Noel Fielding
My mum and dad are both really funny. My granddad's really funny, my uncle's really funny, everyone's really funny. You have to be quick, otherwise you get roasted. Everyone takes the piss quite a lot. You have to be really sharp.
Noel Fielding
Imagine that, a poncho sombrero combo, I'll be off my tits on happiness.
Noel Fielding
I could get an audience into my world and if you can do that, they'll go with you not all the way, but a lot of the way.
Noel Fielding
The tie's a multi purpose accessory, y'know, belt, school boy, Rambo.
Noel Fielding
All my friends got dogs and cats for Christmas, and I got a starfish called Roy. I used to take him down to the park on a lead.
Noel Fielding
I visited a friend in Leicester recently. It was 4am and we all ran around in a circle, six of us. It’s the most fun I’ve had since i was seven. And I thought: it’s not about drink, or drugs, or fancy clubs. It’s about running around in your socks, changing direction in a front room in Leicester.
Noel Fielding
I don't hate Coldplay to be cool I genuinely hate Coldplay.
Noel Fielding
We got everythin' we need here. We got Baileys, creamy, and, um... everythin' good. I'll get ya another Baileys
Noel Fielding
There's something amazing about tea. It's good before a meal, after a meal, when drunk, when taking drugs, while playing football and after being called a poof in the street.
Noel Fielding
Science teachers and the mentally ill, that's all Jazz is for.
Noel Fielding
I've had a really weird day, some joker threw bamboo in the penguin enclosure. They all vaulted out. It was a nightmare, it took me all morning to get them back in.
Noel Fielding
Some people have a fear of being on stage. I have a fear of coming off it.
Noel Fielding
Englishmen do like to get in a dress, any excuse.
Noel Fielding
I always wanted to travel around and see lots of America, I'd never been to Boston, I'd never been to San Francisco even, so I'm quite excited to just go the places.
Noel Fielding