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If you're going to be a good standup, or a successful standup, or a standup who can work for money, you have to eliminate the possibility of dying quickly.

Noel Fielding

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Noel Fielding
Age: 51
Actor
Comedian
Painter
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Writer
City of Westminster
Successful
Money
Going
Work
Good
Eliminate
Quickly
Possibility
Dying

More quotes by Noel Fielding

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I visited a friend in Leicester recently. It was 4am and we all ran around in a circle, six of us. It’s the most fun I’ve had since i was seven. And I thought: it’s not about drink, or drugs, or fancy clubs. It’s about running around in your socks, changing direction in a front room in Leicester.
Noel Fielding
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My mum and dad are both really funny. My granddad's really funny, my uncle's really funny, everyone's really funny. You have to be quick, otherwise you get roasted. Everyone takes the piss quite a lot. You have to be really sharp.
Noel Fielding
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Never try and go on a solo mission on your own.
Noel Fielding
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I'm going to name drop like an idiot now, but Bono rang me up once, right? I don't know how he got my number, but I, ever so stupidly, and obviously thought it was one of my mates mocking about. So I was like, Yeah, whatever. And it was him, but I even went to him, That's not even a good Irish accent!
Noel Fielding
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Imagine that, a poncho sombrero combo, I'll be off my tits on happiness.
Noel Fielding
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I've had a really weird day, some joker threw bamboo in the penguin enclosure. They all vaulted out. It was a nightmare, it took me all morning to get them back in.
Noel Fielding
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The tie's a multi purpose accessory, y'know, belt, school boy, Rambo.
Noel Fielding
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Reality depresses me. I need to find fantasy worlds and escape in them.
Noel Fielding
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I don't really like jokes in a way. I mean gags are fine but I like weird moments where what you have isn't really a joke, just tiny moments.
Noel Fielding
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I find it depressing that people think you have to be on drugs to watch [my stuff], that’s a cop out, use your brain, use your imagination.
Noel Fielding
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It's impossible to be unhappy while wearing a poncho!
Noel Fielding
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They call me the confuser. Is he a man... is he a woman? Ooh, I'm not sure if I mind.
Noel Fielding
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All my friends got dogs and cats for Christmas, and I got a starfish called Roy. I used to take him down to the park on a lead.
Noel Fielding
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Science teachers and the mentally ill, that's all Jazz is for.
Noel Fielding
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Things are different in the fantasy world Towels are different in the fantasy world Shows are different in the fantasy world Dancing's different in the fantasy world Unicorns No, they're the same Everything's different in the fantasy world
Noel Fielding
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I don't hate Coldplay to be cool I genuinely hate Coldplay.
Noel Fielding
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I don't think I'd have done comedy if I was born eighty years ago I'd have been a lord. Shooting people that were on my land With a wig, yeah. And some crisps.
Noel Fielding
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I always wanted to travel around and see lots of America, I'd never been to Boston, I'd never been to San Francisco even, so I'm quite excited to just go the places.
Noel Fielding
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I could get an audience into my world and if you can do that, they'll go with you not all the way, but a lot of the way.
Noel Fielding
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Englishmen do like to get in a dress, any excuse.
Noel Fielding