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My mum and dad are both really funny. My granddad's really funny, my uncle's really funny, everyone's really funny. You have to be quick, otherwise you get roasted. Everyone takes the piss quite a lot. You have to be really sharp.

Noel Fielding

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Noel Fielding
Age: 51
Actor
Comedian
Painter
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Writer
City of Westminster
Everyone
Uncles
Really
Sharp
Quick
Otherwise
Granddad
Dad
Roasted
Takes
Piss
Quite
Uncle
Funny
Mum

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Englishmen do like to get in a dress, any excuse.
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I don't hate Coldplay to be cool I genuinely hate Coldplay.
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I'd like to punch out a really old lady. There'd be no repercussions.
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My nan used to look after me in the summer holidays and she had a cat with one eye. It used to walk into walls and tables. I used to think it was hilarious. It was a slapstick cat.
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The tie's a multi purpose accessory, y'know, belt, school boy, Rambo.
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I don't think I'd have done comedy if I was born eighty years ago I'd have been a lord. Shooting people that were on my land With a wig, yeah. And some crisps.
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There's something amazing about tea. It's good before a meal, after a meal, when drunk, when taking drugs, while playing football and after being called a poof in the street.
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It's impossible to be unhappy while wearing a poncho!
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I never did that badly with women when I wasn't on telly, but it's a bit out of control now. Women try it on with me more than I'm comfortable with. It's strange, because I think I look like a troll wearing a woman's wig backwards.
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Never try and go on a solo mission on your own.
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I've got it all in here ultra violets, flying saucers, strawberry bootlace come on get involved.
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I've had a really weird day, some joker threw bamboo in the penguin enclosure. They all vaulted out. It was a nightmare, it took me all morning to get them back in.
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All my friends got dogs and cats for Christmas, and I got a starfish called Roy. I used to take him down to the park on a lead.
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They call me the confuser. Is he a man... is he a woman? Ooh, I'm not sure if I mind.
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Yeah? Rock 'n' Roll is fast, you know. If all goes according to plan I could be in rehab next thursday. Tuesday week I'll be living on an island with a small Indian boy.
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