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I've had a really weird day, some joker threw bamboo in the penguin enclosure. They all vaulted out. It was a nightmare, it took me all morning to get them back in.
Noel Fielding
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Noel Fielding
Age: 51
Actor
Comedian
Painter
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Writer
City of Westminster
Weird
Vaulted
Took
Penguin
Humor
Enclosure
Morning
Joker
Funny
Bamboo
Back
Penguins
Really
Threw
Nightmare
More quotes by Noel Fielding
I find it depressing that people think you have to be on drugs to watch [my stuff], that’s a cop out, use your brain, use your imagination.
Noel Fielding
My mum and dad are both really funny. My granddad's really funny, my uncle's really funny, everyone's really funny. You have to be quick, otherwise you get roasted. Everyone takes the piss quite a lot. You have to be really sharp.
Noel Fielding
If you're going to be a good standup, or a successful standup, or a standup who can work for money, you have to eliminate the possibility of dying quickly.
Noel Fielding
Englishmen do like to get in a dress, any excuse.
Noel Fielding
I don't hate Coldplay to be cool I genuinely hate Coldplay.
Noel Fielding
The tie's a multi purpose accessory, y'know, belt, school boy, Rambo.
Noel Fielding
I'd have to do unannounced gigs because your fans will laugh at everything because they know what you do already. What you really want is a neutral audience that isn't too harsh - a good comedy crowd - but that don't know necessarily what you're doing.
Noel Fielding
When you start, it's not to do with the material so much. It's more to do with how you can control a crowd and make friends with an audience and sell your brand of humor.
Noel Fielding
I've got it all in here ultra violets, flying saucers, strawberry bootlace come on get involved.
Noel Fielding
Science teachers and the mentally ill, that's all Jazz is for.
Noel Fielding
I'm going to name drop like an idiot now, but Bono rang me up once, right? I don't know how he got my number, but I, ever so stupidly, and obviously thought it was one of my mates mocking about. So I was like, Yeah, whatever. And it was him, but I even went to him, That's not even a good Irish accent!
Noel Fielding
Yeah? Rock 'n' Roll is fast, you know. If all goes according to plan I could be in rehab next thursday. Tuesday week I'll be living on an island with a small Indian boy.
Noel Fielding
They call me the confuser. Is he a man... is he a woman? Ooh, I'm not sure if I mind.
Noel Fielding
It's impossible to be unhappy while wearing a poncho!
Noel Fielding
My nan used to look after me in the summer holidays and she had a cat with one eye. It used to walk into walls and tables. I used to think it was hilarious. It was a slapstick cat.
Noel Fielding
Some people have a fear of being on stage. I have a fear of coming off it.
Noel Fielding
I never did that badly with women when I wasn't on telly, but it's a bit out of control now. Women try it on with me more than I'm comfortable with. It's strange, because I think I look like a troll wearing a woman's wig backwards.
Noel Fielding
There's not enough psychedelic stuff on TV. I want the world to be a bit weirder than it is. I hate reality, so I hate reality TV. But I love Columbo.
Noel Fielding
Trousers can never be too tight. You have to go through a couple of days of pain, then everything stretches out.
Noel Fielding
I don't really like jokes in a way. I mean gags are fine but I like weird moments where what you have isn't really a joke, just tiny moments.
Noel Fielding