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Yeah? Rock 'n' Roll is fast, you know. If all goes according to plan I could be in rehab next thursday. Tuesday week I'll be living on an island with a small Indian boy.

Noel Fielding

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Noel Fielding
Age: 51
Actor
Comedian
Painter
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Writer
City of Westminster
Funny
Yeah
Island
Living
Rocks
Islands
Next
Plans
Roll
Humor
Indian
Boys
According
Goes
Fast
Rehab
Week
Plan
Thursday
Small
Rock
Tuesday

More quotes by Noel Fielding

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We got everythin' we need here. We got Baileys, creamy, and, um... everythin' good. I'll get ya another Baileys
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Science teachers and the mentally ill, that's all Jazz is for.
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There's not enough psychedelic stuff on TV. I want the world to be a bit weirder than it is. I hate reality, so I hate reality TV. But I love Columbo.
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Englishmen do like to get in a dress, any excuse.
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Things are different in the fantasy world Towels are different in the fantasy world Shows are different in the fantasy world Dancing's different in the fantasy world Unicorns No, they're the same Everything's different in the fantasy world
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All my friends got dogs and cats for Christmas, and I got a starfish called Roy. I used to take him down to the park on a lead.
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I never did that badly with women when I wasn't on telly, but it's a bit out of control now. Women try it on with me more than I'm comfortable with. It's strange, because I think I look like a troll wearing a woman's wig backwards.
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I'd like to punch out a really old lady. There'd be no repercussions.
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Some people have a fear of being on stage. I have a fear of coming off it.
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There's something amazing about tea. It's good before a meal, after a meal, when drunk, when taking drugs, while playing football and after being called a poof in the street.
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I've had a really weird day, some joker threw bamboo in the penguin enclosure. They all vaulted out. It was a nightmare, it took me all morning to get them back in.
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If you're going to be a good standup, or a successful standup, or a standup who can work for money, you have to eliminate the possibility of dying quickly.
Noel Fielding
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I'd have to do unannounced gigs because your fans will laugh at everything because they know what you do already. What you really want is a neutral audience that isn't too harsh - a good comedy crowd - but that don't know necessarily what you're doing.
Noel Fielding
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Reality depresses me. I need to find fantasy worlds and escape in them.
Noel Fielding
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I don't really like jokes in a way. I mean gags are fine but I like weird moments where what you have isn't really a joke, just tiny moments.
Noel Fielding
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I visited a friend in Leicester recently. It was 4am and we all ran around in a circle, six of us. It’s the most fun I’ve had since i was seven. And I thought: it’s not about drink, or drugs, or fancy clubs. It’s about running around in your socks, changing direction in a front room in Leicester.
Noel Fielding
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Imagine that, a poncho sombrero combo, I'll be off my tits on happiness.
Noel Fielding
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My nan used to look after me in the summer holidays and she had a cat with one eye. It used to walk into walls and tables. I used to think it was hilarious. It was a slapstick cat.
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Never try and go on a solo mission on your own.
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They call me the confuser. Is he a man... is he a woman? Ooh, I'm not sure if I mind.
Noel Fielding