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Yeah? Rock 'n' Roll is fast, you know. If all goes according to plan I could be in rehab next thursday. Tuesday week I'll be living on an island with a small Indian boy.

Noel Fielding

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Noel Fielding
Age: 51
Actor
Comedian
Painter
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Writer
City of Westminster
Plans
Roll
Next
Humor
Indian
Boys
According
Goes
Fast
Rehab
Week
Plan
Thursday
Rock
Tuesday
Small
Yeah
Island
Funny
Rocks
Islands
Living

More quotes by Noel Fielding

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When you start, it's not to do with the material so much. It's more to do with how you can control a crowd and make friends with an audience and sell your brand of humor.
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The tie's a multi purpose accessory, y'know, belt, school boy, Rambo.
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My mum and dad are both really funny. My granddad's really funny, my uncle's really funny, everyone's really funny. You have to be quick, otherwise you get roasted. Everyone takes the piss quite a lot. You have to be really sharp.
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My nan used to look after me in the summer holidays and she had a cat with one eye. It used to walk into walls and tables. I used to think it was hilarious. It was a slapstick cat.
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I'm going to name drop like an idiot now, but Bono rang me up once, right? I don't know how he got my number, but I, ever so stupidly, and obviously thought it was one of my mates mocking about. So I was like, Yeah, whatever. And it was him, but I even went to him, That's not even a good Irish accent!
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I've got it all in here ultra violets, flying saucers, strawberry bootlace come on get involved.
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Some people have a fear of being on stage. I have a fear of coming off it.
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All my friends got dogs and cats for Christmas, and I got a starfish called Roy. I used to take him down to the park on a lead.
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Things are different in the fantasy world Towels are different in the fantasy world Shows are different in the fantasy world Dancing's different in the fantasy world Unicorns No, they're the same Everything's different in the fantasy world
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I visited a friend in Leicester recently. It was 4am and we all ran around in a circle, six of us. It’s the most fun I’ve had since i was seven. And I thought: it’s not about drink, or drugs, or fancy clubs. It’s about running around in your socks, changing direction in a front room in Leicester.
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Reality depresses me. I need to find fantasy worlds and escape in them.
Noel Fielding
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Science teachers and the mentally ill, that's all Jazz is for.
Noel Fielding
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I've had a really weird day, some joker threw bamboo in the penguin enclosure. They all vaulted out. It was a nightmare, it took me all morning to get them back in.
Noel Fielding
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There's something amazing about tea. It's good before a meal, after a meal, when drunk, when taking drugs, while playing football and after being called a poof in the street.
Noel Fielding
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I'd like to punch out a really old lady. There'd be no repercussions.
Noel Fielding
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I don't hate Coldplay to be cool I genuinely hate Coldplay.
Noel Fielding
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I could get an audience into my world and if you can do that, they'll go with you not all the way, but a lot of the way.
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Trousers can never be too tight. You have to go through a couple of days of pain, then everything stretches out.
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I don't think I'd have done comedy if I was born eighty years ago I'd have been a lord. Shooting people that were on my land With a wig, yeah. And some crisps.
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We got everythin' we need here. We got Baileys, creamy, and, um... everythin' good. I'll get ya another Baileys
Noel Fielding