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Trousers can never be too tight. You have to go through a couple of days of pain, then everything stretches out.

Noel Fielding

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Noel Fielding
Age: 51
Actor
Comedian
Painter
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Writer
City of Westminster
Pain
Everything
Stretches
Never
Trousers
Tight
Couple
Humor
Days
Funny

More quotes by Noel Fielding

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I've had a really weird day, some joker threw bamboo in the penguin enclosure. They all vaulted out. It was a nightmare, it took me all morning to get them back in.
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The tie's a multi purpose accessory, y'know, belt, school boy, Rambo.
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I don't hate Coldplay to be cool I genuinely hate Coldplay.
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We got everythin' we need here. We got Baileys, creamy, and, um... everythin' good. I'll get ya another Baileys
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I could get an audience into my world and if you can do that, they'll go with you not all the way, but a lot of the way.
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I've got it all in here ultra violets, flying saucers, strawberry bootlace come on get involved.
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I'm going to name drop like an idiot now, but Bono rang me up once, right? I don't know how he got my number, but I, ever so stupidly, and obviously thought it was one of my mates mocking about. So I was like, Yeah, whatever. And it was him, but I even went to him, That's not even a good Irish accent!
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I always wanted to travel around and see lots of America, I'd never been to Boston, I'd never been to San Francisco even, so I'm quite excited to just go the places.
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Englishmen do like to get in a dress, any excuse.
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Things are different in the fantasy world Towels are different in the fantasy world Shows are different in the fantasy world Dancing's different in the fantasy world Unicorns No, they're the same Everything's different in the fantasy world
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I don't think I'd have done comedy if I was born eighty years ago I'd have been a lord. Shooting people that were on my land With a wig, yeah. And some crisps.
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I'd like to punch out a really old lady. There'd be no repercussions.
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There's something amazing about tea. It's good before a meal, after a meal, when drunk, when taking drugs, while playing football and after being called a poof in the street.
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I don't really like jokes in a way. I mean gags are fine but I like weird moments where what you have isn't really a joke, just tiny moments.
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Imagine that, a poncho sombrero combo, I'll be off my tits on happiness.
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They call me the confuser. Is he a man... is he a woman? Ooh, I'm not sure if I mind.
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When you start, it's not to do with the material so much. It's more to do with how you can control a crowd and make friends with an audience and sell your brand of humor.
Noel Fielding
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My mum and dad are both really funny. My granddad's really funny, my uncle's really funny, everyone's really funny. You have to be quick, otherwise you get roasted. Everyone takes the piss quite a lot. You have to be really sharp.
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Science teachers and the mentally ill, that's all Jazz is for.
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I find it depressing that people think you have to be on drugs to watch [my stuff], that’s a cop out, use your brain, use your imagination.
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