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I never did that badly with women when I wasn't on telly, but it's a bit out of control now. Women try it on with me more than I'm comfortable with. It's strange, because I think I look like a troll wearing a woman's wig backwards.
Noel Fielding
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Noel Fielding
Age: 51
Actor
Comedian
Painter
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Writer
City of Westminster
Thinking
Funny
Wearing
Like
Woman
Comfortable
Women
Humor
Look
Strange
Telly
Looks
Wasn
Troll
Trying
Comedy
Wigs
Never
Bits
Backwards
Think
Control
Badly
More quotes by Noel Fielding
My nan used to look after me in the summer holidays and she had a cat with one eye. It used to walk into walls and tables. I used to think it was hilarious. It was a slapstick cat.
Noel Fielding
I don't hate Coldplay to be cool I genuinely hate Coldplay.
Noel Fielding
Yeah? Rock 'n' Roll is fast, you know. If all goes according to plan I could be in rehab next thursday. Tuesday week I'll be living on an island with a small Indian boy.
Noel Fielding
When you start, it's not to do with the material so much. It's more to do with how you can control a crowd and make friends with an audience and sell your brand of humor.
Noel Fielding
My mum and dad are both really funny. My granddad's really funny, my uncle's really funny, everyone's really funny. You have to be quick, otherwise you get roasted. Everyone takes the piss quite a lot. You have to be really sharp.
Noel Fielding
Some people have a fear of being on stage. I have a fear of coming off it.
Noel Fielding
I find it depressing that people think you have to be on drugs to watch [my stuff], that’s a cop out, use your brain, use your imagination.
Noel Fielding
We got everythin' we need here. We got Baileys, creamy, and, um... everythin' good. I'll get ya another Baileys
Noel Fielding
All my friends got dogs and cats for Christmas, and I got a starfish called Roy. I used to take him down to the park on a lead.
Noel Fielding
Imagine that, a poncho sombrero combo, I'll be off my tits on happiness.
Noel Fielding
I'm going to name drop like an idiot now, but Bono rang me up once, right? I don't know how he got my number, but I, ever so stupidly, and obviously thought it was one of my mates mocking about. So I was like, Yeah, whatever. And it was him, but I even went to him, That's not even a good Irish accent!
Noel Fielding
I could get an audience into my world and if you can do that, they'll go with you not all the way, but a lot of the way.
Noel Fielding
You can't just go gay, its not like buying a ladder.
Noel Fielding
I'd have to do unannounced gigs because your fans will laugh at everything because they know what you do already. What you really want is a neutral audience that isn't too harsh - a good comedy crowd - but that don't know necessarily what you're doing.
Noel Fielding
I'd like to punch out a really old lady. There'd be no repercussions.
Noel Fielding
They call me the confuser. Is he a man... is he a woman? Ooh, I'm not sure if I mind.
Noel Fielding
I've had a really weird day, some joker threw bamboo in the penguin enclosure. They all vaulted out. It was a nightmare, it took me all morning to get them back in.
Noel Fielding
If you're going to be a good standup, or a successful standup, or a standup who can work for money, you have to eliminate the possibility of dying quickly.
Noel Fielding
There's something amazing about tea. It's good before a meal, after a meal, when drunk, when taking drugs, while playing football and after being called a poof in the street.
Noel Fielding
Trousers can never be too tight. You have to go through a couple of days of pain, then everything stretches out.
Noel Fielding