Quote

I never did that badly with women when I wasn't on telly, but it's a bit out of control now. Women try it on with me more than I'm comfortable with. It's strange, because I think I look like a troll wearing a woman's wig backwards.

Noel Fielding

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Noel Fielding
Age: 51
Actor
Comedian
Painter
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Writer
City of Westminster
Looks
Wasn
Troll
Trying
Comedy
Wigs
Never
Bits
Backwards
Think
Control
Badly
Thinking
Funny
Wearing
Like
Woman
Comfortable
Women
Humor
Look
Strange
Telly

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I don't hate Coldplay to be cool I genuinely hate Coldplay.
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Some people have a fear of being on stage. I have a fear of coming off it.
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I've had a really weird day, some joker threw bamboo in the penguin enclosure. They all vaulted out. It was a nightmare, it took me all morning to get them back in.
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When you start, it's not to do with the material so much. It's more to do with how you can control a crowd and make friends with an audience and sell your brand of humor.
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I don't think I'd have done comedy if I was born eighty years ago I'd have been a lord. Shooting people that were on my land With a wig, yeah. And some crisps.
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There's something amazing about tea. It's good before a meal, after a meal, when drunk, when taking drugs, while playing football and after being called a poof in the street.
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Yeah? Rock 'n' Roll is fast, you know. If all goes according to plan I could be in rehab next thursday. Tuesday week I'll be living on an island with a small Indian boy.
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I'd have to do unannounced gigs because your fans will laugh at everything because they know what you do already. What you really want is a neutral audience that isn't too harsh - a good comedy crowd - but that don't know necessarily what you're doing.
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Science teachers and the mentally ill, that's all Jazz is for.
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Trousers can never be too tight. You have to go through a couple of days of pain, then everything stretches out.
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It's impossible to be unhappy while wearing a poncho!
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All my friends got dogs and cats for Christmas, and I got a starfish called Roy. I used to take him down to the park on a lead.
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My nan used to look after me in the summer holidays and she had a cat with one eye. It used to walk into walls and tables. I used to think it was hilarious. It was a slapstick cat.
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If you're going to be a good standup, or a successful standup, or a standup who can work for money, you have to eliminate the possibility of dying quickly.
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Never try and go on a solo mission on your own.
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We got everythin' we need here. We got Baileys, creamy, and, um... everythin' good. I'll get ya another Baileys
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I find it depressing that people think you have to be on drugs to watch [my stuff], that’s a cop out, use your brain, use your imagination.
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There's not enough psychedelic stuff on TV. I want the world to be a bit weirder than it is. I hate reality, so I hate reality TV. But I love Columbo.
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The tie's a multi purpose accessory, y'know, belt, school boy, Rambo.
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Imagine that, a poncho sombrero combo, I'll be off my tits on happiness.
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