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I don't think I'd have done comedy if I was born eighty years ago I'd have been a lord. Shooting people that were on my land With a wig, yeah. And some crisps.
Noel Fielding
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Noel Fielding
Age: 51
Actor
Comedian
Painter
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Writer
City of Westminster
People
Land
Lord
Crisps
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Wigs
Born
Eighty
Done
Shooting
Years
Yeah
Think
Humor
Thinking
Comedy
More quotes by Noel Fielding
The tie's a multi purpose accessory, y'know, belt, school boy, Rambo.
Noel Fielding
We got everythin' we need here. We got Baileys, creamy, and, um... everythin' good. I'll get ya another Baileys
Noel Fielding
There's not enough psychedelic stuff on TV. I want the world to be a bit weirder than it is. I hate reality, so I hate reality TV. But I love Columbo.
Noel Fielding
I'd like to punch out a really old lady. There'd be no repercussions.
Noel Fielding
I've got it all in here ultra violets, flying saucers, strawberry bootlace come on get involved.
Noel Fielding
Trousers can never be too tight. You have to go through a couple of days of pain, then everything stretches out.
Noel Fielding
Some people have a fear of being on stage. I have a fear of coming off it.
Noel Fielding
I don't hate Coldplay to be cool I genuinely hate Coldplay.
Noel Fielding
I could get an audience into my world and if you can do that, they'll go with you not all the way, but a lot of the way.
Noel Fielding
Science teachers and the mentally ill, that's all Jazz is for.
Noel Fielding
There's something amazing about tea. It's good before a meal, after a meal, when drunk, when taking drugs, while playing football and after being called a poof in the street.
Noel Fielding
I find it depressing that people think you have to be on drugs to watch [my stuff], that’s a cop out, use your brain, use your imagination.
Noel Fielding
I don't really like jokes in a way. I mean gags are fine but I like weird moments where what you have isn't really a joke, just tiny moments.
Noel Fielding
Yeah? Rock 'n' Roll is fast, you know. If all goes according to plan I could be in rehab next thursday. Tuesday week I'll be living on an island with a small Indian boy.
Noel Fielding
I never did that badly with women when I wasn't on telly, but it's a bit out of control now. Women try it on with me more than I'm comfortable with. It's strange, because I think I look like a troll wearing a woman's wig backwards.
Noel Fielding
I always wanted to travel around and see lots of America, I'd never been to Boston, I'd never been to San Francisco even, so I'm quite excited to just go the places.
Noel Fielding
My nan used to look after me in the summer holidays and she had a cat with one eye. It used to walk into walls and tables. I used to think it was hilarious. It was a slapstick cat.
Noel Fielding
I visited a friend in Leicester recently. It was 4am and we all ran around in a circle, six of us. It’s the most fun I’ve had since i was seven. And I thought: it’s not about drink, or drugs, or fancy clubs. It’s about running around in your socks, changing direction in a front room in Leicester.
Noel Fielding
When you start, it's not to do with the material so much. It's more to do with how you can control a crowd and make friends with an audience and sell your brand of humor.
Noel Fielding
If you're going to be a good standup, or a successful standup, or a standup who can work for money, you have to eliminate the possibility of dying quickly.
Noel Fielding