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I'd like to punch out a really old lady. There'd be no repercussions.

Noel Fielding

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Noel Fielding
Age: 51
Actor
Comedian
Painter
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Writer
City of Westminster
Punch
Lady
Humor
Funny
Really
Like
Repercussions

More quotes by Noel Fielding

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I've got it all in here ultra violets, flying saucers, strawberry bootlace come on get involved.
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I've had a really weird day, some joker threw bamboo in the penguin enclosure. They all vaulted out. It was a nightmare, it took me all morning to get them back in.
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All my friends got dogs and cats for Christmas, and I got a starfish called Roy. I used to take him down to the park on a lead.
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Trousers can never be too tight. You have to go through a couple of days of pain, then everything stretches out.
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My nan used to look after me in the summer holidays and she had a cat with one eye. It used to walk into walls and tables. I used to think it was hilarious. It was a slapstick cat.
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I don't hate Coldplay to be cool I genuinely hate Coldplay.
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I never did that badly with women when I wasn't on telly, but it's a bit out of control now. Women try it on with me more than I'm comfortable with. It's strange, because I think I look like a troll wearing a woman's wig backwards.
Noel Fielding
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I'd have to do unannounced gigs because your fans will laugh at everything because they know what you do already. What you really want is a neutral audience that isn't too harsh - a good comedy crowd - but that don't know necessarily what you're doing.
Noel Fielding
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I don't think I'd have done comedy if I was born eighty years ago I'd have been a lord. Shooting people that were on my land With a wig, yeah. And some crisps.
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Yeah? Rock 'n' Roll is fast, you know. If all goes according to plan I could be in rehab next thursday. Tuesday week I'll be living on an island with a small Indian boy.
Noel Fielding
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There's something amazing about tea. It's good before a meal, after a meal, when drunk, when taking drugs, while playing football and after being called a poof in the street.
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They call me the confuser. Is he a man... is he a woman? Ooh, I'm not sure if I mind.
Noel Fielding
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Science teachers and the mentally ill, that's all Jazz is for.
Noel Fielding
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Englishmen do like to get in a dress, any excuse.
Noel Fielding
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Things are different in the fantasy world Towels are different in the fantasy world Shows are different in the fantasy world Dancing's different in the fantasy world Unicorns No, they're the same Everything's different in the fantasy world
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I'm going to name drop like an idiot now, but Bono rang me up once, right? I don't know how he got my number, but I, ever so stupidly, and obviously thought it was one of my mates mocking about. So I was like, Yeah, whatever. And it was him, but I even went to him, That's not even a good Irish accent!
Noel Fielding
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I don't really like jokes in a way. I mean gags are fine but I like weird moments where what you have isn't really a joke, just tiny moments.
Noel Fielding
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Imagine that, a poncho sombrero combo, I'll be off my tits on happiness.
Noel Fielding
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If you're going to be a good standup, or a successful standup, or a standup who can work for money, you have to eliminate the possibility of dying quickly.
Noel Fielding
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Reality depresses me. I need to find fantasy worlds and escape in them.
Noel Fielding