Quote

I'd like to punch out a really old lady. There'd be no repercussions.

Noel Fielding

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Noel Fielding
Age: 51
Actor
Comedian
Painter
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Writer
City of Westminster
Funny
Really
Like
Repercussions
Punch
Lady
Humor

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Science teachers and the mentally ill, that's all Jazz is for.
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When you start, it's not to do with the material so much. It's more to do with how you can control a crowd and make friends with an audience and sell your brand of humor.
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Reality depresses me. I need to find fantasy worlds and escape in them.
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I don't think I'd have done comedy if I was born eighty years ago I'd have been a lord. Shooting people that were on my land With a wig, yeah. And some crisps.
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You can't just go gay, its not like buying a ladder.
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Englishmen do like to get in a dress, any excuse.
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If you're going to be a good standup, or a successful standup, or a standup who can work for money, you have to eliminate the possibility of dying quickly.
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Some people have a fear of being on stage. I have a fear of coming off it.
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There's not enough psychedelic stuff on TV. I want the world to be a bit weirder than it is. I hate reality, so I hate reality TV. But I love Columbo.
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I always wanted to travel around and see lots of America, I'd never been to Boston, I'd never been to San Francisco even, so I'm quite excited to just go the places.
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I'd have to do unannounced gigs because your fans will laugh at everything because they know what you do already. What you really want is a neutral audience that isn't too harsh - a good comedy crowd - but that don't know necessarily what you're doing.
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Yeah? Rock 'n' Roll is fast, you know. If all goes according to plan I could be in rehab next thursday. Tuesday week I'll be living on an island with a small Indian boy.
Noel Fielding
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Never try and go on a solo mission on your own.
Noel Fielding
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I don't really like jokes in a way. I mean gags are fine but I like weird moments where what you have isn't really a joke, just tiny moments.
Noel Fielding
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I don't hate Coldplay to be cool I genuinely hate Coldplay.
Noel Fielding
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I've got it all in here ultra violets, flying saucers, strawberry bootlace come on get involved.
Noel Fielding
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Trousers can never be too tight. You have to go through a couple of days of pain, then everything stretches out.
Noel Fielding
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It's impossible to be unhappy while wearing a poncho!
Noel Fielding
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Imagine that, a poncho sombrero combo, I'll be off my tits on happiness.
Noel Fielding
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I'm going to name drop like an idiot now, but Bono rang me up once, right? I don't know how he got my number, but I, ever so stupidly, and obviously thought it was one of my mates mocking about. So I was like, Yeah, whatever. And it was him, but I even went to him, That's not even a good Irish accent!
Noel Fielding