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Some people have a fear of being on stage. I have a fear of coming off it.
Noel Fielding
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Noel Fielding
Age: 51
Actor
Comedian
Painter
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Stage Actor
Television Actor
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City of Westminster
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Stage
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More quotes by Noel Fielding
My nan used to look after me in the summer holidays and she had a cat with one eye. It used to walk into walls and tables. I used to think it was hilarious. It was a slapstick cat.
Noel Fielding
Never try and go on a solo mission on your own.
Noel Fielding
I've had a really weird day, some joker threw bamboo in the penguin enclosure. They all vaulted out. It was a nightmare, it took me all morning to get them back in.
Noel Fielding
I'd have to do unannounced gigs because your fans will laugh at everything because they know what you do already. What you really want is a neutral audience that isn't too harsh - a good comedy crowd - but that don't know necessarily what you're doing.
Noel Fielding
We got everythin' we need here. We got Baileys, creamy, and, um... everythin' good. I'll get ya another Baileys
Noel Fielding
You can't just go gay, its not like buying a ladder.
Noel Fielding
I'm going to name drop like an idiot now, but Bono rang me up once, right? I don't know how he got my number, but I, ever so stupidly, and obviously thought it was one of my mates mocking about. So I was like, Yeah, whatever. And it was him, but I even went to him, That's not even a good Irish accent!
Noel Fielding
I'd like to punch out a really old lady. There'd be no repercussions.
Noel Fielding
If you're going to be a good standup, or a successful standup, or a standup who can work for money, you have to eliminate the possibility of dying quickly.
Noel Fielding
My mum and dad are both really funny. My granddad's really funny, my uncle's really funny, everyone's really funny. You have to be quick, otherwise you get roasted. Everyone takes the piss quite a lot. You have to be really sharp.
Noel Fielding
Things are different in the fantasy world Towels are different in the fantasy world Shows are different in the fantasy world Dancing's different in the fantasy world Unicorns No, they're the same Everything's different in the fantasy world
Noel Fielding
I always wanted to travel around and see lots of America, I'd never been to Boston, I'd never been to San Francisco even, so I'm quite excited to just go the places.
Noel Fielding
I never did that badly with women when I wasn't on telly, but it's a bit out of control now. Women try it on with me more than I'm comfortable with. It's strange, because I think I look like a troll wearing a woman's wig backwards.
Noel Fielding
Reality depresses me. I need to find fantasy worlds and escape in them.
Noel Fielding
There's something amazing about tea. It's good before a meal, after a meal, when drunk, when taking drugs, while playing football and after being called a poof in the street.
Noel Fielding
Trousers can never be too tight. You have to go through a couple of days of pain, then everything stretches out.
Noel Fielding
I don't really like jokes in a way. I mean gags are fine but I like weird moments where what you have isn't really a joke, just tiny moments.
Noel Fielding
It's impossible to be unhappy while wearing a poncho!
Noel Fielding
I could get an audience into my world and if you can do that, they'll go with you not all the way, but a lot of the way.
Noel Fielding
Science teachers and the mentally ill, that's all Jazz is for.
Noel Fielding