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I don't really like jokes in a way. I mean gags are fine but I like weird moments where what you have isn't really a joke, just tiny moments.
Noel Fielding
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Noel Fielding
Age: 51
Actor
Comedian
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Television Actor
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City of Westminster
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More quotes by Noel Fielding
I find it depressing that people think you have to be on drugs to watch [my stuff], that’s a cop out, use your brain, use your imagination.
Noel Fielding
Some people have a fear of being on stage. I have a fear of coming off it.
Noel Fielding
I'm going to name drop like an idiot now, but Bono rang me up once, right? I don't know how he got my number, but I, ever so stupidly, and obviously thought it was one of my mates mocking about. So I was like, Yeah, whatever. And it was him, but I even went to him, That's not even a good Irish accent!
Noel Fielding
I've got it all in here ultra violets, flying saucers, strawberry bootlace come on get involved.
Noel Fielding
I've had a really weird day, some joker threw bamboo in the penguin enclosure. They all vaulted out. It was a nightmare, it took me all morning to get them back in.
Noel Fielding
There's not enough psychedelic stuff on TV. I want the world to be a bit weirder than it is. I hate reality, so I hate reality TV. But I love Columbo.
Noel Fielding
The tie's a multi purpose accessory, y'know, belt, school boy, Rambo.
Noel Fielding
Science teachers and the mentally ill, that's all Jazz is for.
Noel Fielding
It's impossible to be unhappy while wearing a poncho!
Noel Fielding
There's something amazing about tea. It's good before a meal, after a meal, when drunk, when taking drugs, while playing football and after being called a poof in the street.
Noel Fielding
If you're going to be a good standup, or a successful standup, or a standup who can work for money, you have to eliminate the possibility of dying quickly.
Noel Fielding
I could get an audience into my world and if you can do that, they'll go with you not all the way, but a lot of the way.
Noel Fielding
All my friends got dogs and cats for Christmas, and I got a starfish called Roy. I used to take him down to the park on a lead.
Noel Fielding
Trousers can never be too tight. You have to go through a couple of days of pain, then everything stretches out.
Noel Fielding
I don't think I'd have done comedy if I was born eighty years ago I'd have been a lord. Shooting people that were on my land With a wig, yeah. And some crisps.
Noel Fielding
They call me the confuser. Is he a man... is he a woman? Ooh, I'm not sure if I mind.
Noel Fielding
I'd like to punch out a really old lady. There'd be no repercussions.
Noel Fielding
When you start, it's not to do with the material so much. It's more to do with how you can control a crowd and make friends with an audience and sell your brand of humor.
Noel Fielding
I never did that badly with women when I wasn't on telly, but it's a bit out of control now. Women try it on with me more than I'm comfortable with. It's strange, because I think I look like a troll wearing a woman's wig backwards.
Noel Fielding
My nan used to look after me in the summer holidays and she had a cat with one eye. It used to walk into walls and tables. I used to think it was hilarious. It was a slapstick cat.
Noel Fielding