I was absolutely a non-starter at games. My report for rugby said, 'Nigel's chief contribution is his presence on the field.' I used to pray for rain and sometimes it did rain - and we played anyway.

My job involves searching for 'lost' quotations - that is, trying to find out who came up with a quotable saying that lingers in someone's mind and which they wish to use for their own purpose and which they cannot find in conventional dictionaries of quotation.

I was broadcast-struck from an early age I had saved up for a tape recorder and started making programmes.

I got into New College, Oxford. The ethos was that you could work - or not.

Democracy is too good to share with just anybody.

I was terribly shy and never said anything in class. Then I started getting into school plays. When you've got words to say, you've got a sort of armour.

Lord Castlerosse was taken to task by Nancy Astor over the size of his stomach. 'What would you say if that was on a woman?' she asked, pointedly. 'Half an hour ago it was,' he replied.

Euphemism in the workplace does not end with job descriptions. It reaches a pusillanimous peak at the other end of the work process - in dismissal.

Rees's First Law of Quotations: When in doubt, ascribe all quotations to George Bernard Shaw.

People will say what they want to say, in the way they want to.