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People keep referring to me as a standup, and that just doesn't sit well with me because a lot of my friends are standups and they're brilliant at writing jokes, and I'm not.
Nick Offerman
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Nick Offerman
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: June 26
Actor
Carpenter
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Joliet
Illinois
Nicholas Offerman
Nicholas David Offerman
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Brilliant
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More quotes by Nick Offerman
I've learned through experience that to trouble celebrities with my handshake doesn't do anybody any good.
Nick Offerman
Men and women alike, if you think that altering the tip of your nose with surgery will make you happier, I would suggest you alter something much more malleable than your flesh, like your priorities, or your friends.
Nick Offerman
I keep having these bros come up to me and say, I used to watch you when I was a fetus, and I just want to kill them.
Nick Offerman
When I arrive in Los Angeles in the entertainment community, and I use implements like a shovel and a hammer, our society has distanced itself so far from working with its hands that those incredibly pedestrian skills are perceived as somehow being extraordinary.
Nick Offerman
One of the most poignant pieces of recent science fiction for me was the portrayal of the adults in the Pixar film WALL-E. I feel like we're on the cusp of becoming fat babies in floating chairs being fed everything in shake form, and I feel like I am as prone to laziness as anybody.
Nick Offerman
I learned in my early years in the theater that I would never become the guy on top. I'll never create a show I don't have a brain expansive enough to see the whole picture, in a way that would behoove anyone.
Nick Offerman
You know, even working actors can end up having a lot of spare time. And you can either go sit at the Starbucks and wait for your agent to call you, or you can go learn how to build a Shaker blanket chest with hand-cut dovetails.
Nick Offerman
Not only do I recommend Wendell Berry to anyone who will talk to me for more than seven seconds, but I buy his books in quantity and send them to people. I bought a few dozen of his newest, Our Only World.
Nick Offerman
I think the whole thing is kind of sad, honestly, in the same way that our civilization - particularly the consumers of pop culture - has grown so used to an emasculated, bare-chested leading man that something like simply growing a mustache can impress people.
Nick Offerman
Always maintain the attitude of a student. If you think you've done learning, bitterness sets in, but if you have more to achieve every day, in any arena, that makes each morning's awakening full of potential and cheery portent.
Nick Offerman
I always drastically changed my look for each role. It's gotten a little tedious in real life, also, because there's no hiding.
Nick Offerman
I feel it's important to point out that I've earned my humility by being a jackass - like, I trip and fall on my face and say, Oh, right. Don't think you're a big shot, because you've got a bloody nose now. So it's hard to say.
Nick Offerman
How lucky my life is that I have two arms, and two legs, and ten fingers with which to make things out of wood.
Nick Offerman
I would like Americans to make things with their hands. Thomas Jefferson and I feel that makes for a much stronger nation.
Nick Offerman
Meat is a big deal in my life. I do love breakfast food, but I don't think that's extraordinary. I'm a normal American. We love eggs and meat and potatoes and gravy.
Nick Offerman
It's funny, growing up there was never anybody around me with any kind of artistic bent.
Nick Offerman
For years I drove a big Ford F250 pickup. That was my ride because two-thirds of my work was wood work, and I'm always driving up to Northern California, where I harvest salvaged trees.
Nick Offerman
I've been working steadily as an actor since around 1998. I wasn't well known in the public, but I was a dependable working journeyman.
Nick Offerman
My uncles, who are farmers in Minooka, Illinois - I grew up with them and their pickup trucks and mustaches, and to me that was masculinity: big hairy sweaty guys who could pick up a bus.
Nick Offerman
Once you have a PhD, every meeting you go to becomes a doctor's appointment.
Nick Offerman