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I learned in my early years in the theater that I would never become the guy on top. I'll never create a show I don't have a brain expansive enough to see the whole picture, in a way that would behoove anyone.

Nick Offerman

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Nick Offerman
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: June 26
Actor
Carpenter
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Joliet
Illinois
Nicholas Offerman
Nicholas David Offerman
Picture
Would
Show
Theater
Shows
Become
Early
Whole
Learned
Enough
Create
Years
Brain
Way
Guy
Expansive
Never
Anyone

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Jobs that require a suit upset me. They displease me much, as our world is rife with such superficial conformity.
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I was drinking a lot of bourbon. I was miserable. I was starting to get work, but it wasn't remotely satisfying. It was garbage compared to the theater I was doing.
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I have a Kenwood charcoal grill. In our house, if anybody is cooking, it's me. I love making burgers. I love making pork tenderloin. Lamb chops I do on the grill a lot. But you just can't beat brats.
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I learned as a young man that I don't write jokes, but that I can deliver more mundane material and get a laugh. I call myself a humorist.
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Auditioning for television shows - to find a guy who has a lot of experience as a laborer is a bit of an anomaly. We do exist. I know several other actors who have made their living, instead of a waitress job, framing houses or blacktopping roads.
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I just always had a penchant for performing for people.I'm a jackass clown.
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If properly dried and trimmed, New York-style pizza could be used to make a box for Chicago-style pizza. I love a slice when I'm in NYC, but it's like eating a Slim Jim compared with a filet mignon. One slice of Gino's East stuffed sausage pizza is a bigger meal than an entire New York pie.
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Once you have a PhD, every meeting you go to becomes a doctor's appointment.
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Of course smartphones are brilliant inventions, but the nefarious thing about Twitter and other social media is that it starts to fill all the gaps in your day. I quickly become an addict.
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People keep referring to me as a standup, and that just doesn't sit well with me because a lot of my friends are standups and they're brilliant at writing jokes, and I'm not.
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Whatever it is you like to do, that's the sexiest part of you.
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Children are so egocentric - they want to watch their lives, and not yours.
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Men and women alike, if you think that altering the tip of your nose with surgery will make you happier, I would suggest you alter something much more malleable than your flesh, like your priorities, or your friends.
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I always had a lot of confidence in my work and the unique flavor I like to bring to my characters, but you know I'm not a huge dreamer.
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If I had more time, I'd watch more woodworking or home-improvement shows, but, not enough hours in the day.
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There's a lot of common sense ... which I feel like we have lost touch with.
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When I was in fourth grade, we were learning vocabulary words, and the word nonconformist came up. The teacher said, It's somebody who whatever everybody is doing, they do the opposite. I remember raising my hand and saying, Mrs. Christiansen, I would like to be a nonconformist.
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For years I drove a big Ford F250 pickup. That was my ride because two-thirds of my work was wood work, and I'm always driving up to Northern California, where I harvest salvaged trees.
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When we think of an actor, we think of a tanned, frosted-tipped, model-looking guy. We don't think of a plumber.
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I've split my life between a few different disciplines.
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