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If you like comedy, go home and curl up with Leviticus. The writers of The Onion are handed Leviticus on their first day.
Nick Offerman
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Nick Offerman
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: June 26
Actor
Carpenter
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
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Illinois
Nicholas Offerman
Nicholas David Offerman
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Leviticus
More quotes by Nick Offerman
When I was in fourth grade, we were learning vocabulary words, and the word nonconformist came up. The teacher said, It's somebody who whatever everybody is doing, they do the opposite. I remember raising my hand and saying, Mrs. Christiansen, I would like to be a nonconformist.
Nick Offerman
Your dreams are always going to seem much more profound to you then they are to your friend.
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When I first met with agents, they said, Okay, you're going to play plumbers and mechanics and bus drivers and farmers. Go.
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I am always so happy to be at 'SNL.' I still feel like a kid when I'm there, like I can't believe I'm watching them make the show.
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I really thought that I'd be doing Shakespeare, honest to God. I did not foresee the whole action television thing. That was God's joke.
Nick Offerman
Love one another, make something with your hands, and exalt the farmer.
Nick Offerman
Don't use barbiturates before going on stage. And be honest.
Nick Offerman
It's funny, growing up there was never anybody around me with any kind of artistic bent.
Nick Offerman
I am a saxophone player.
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The world is split into two halves: the bacon, and the bacon eaters.
Nick Offerman
I would like Americans to make things with their hands. Thomas Jefferson and I feel that makes for a much stronger nation.
Nick Offerman
If your shirt isn't tucked into your pants, then your pants are tucked into your shirt.
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I made an executive decision in college when I learned how behind I was in the world of books, films, and music because of my rural upbringing. I really reduced the amount of time that sports took up in my life.I still have some Faulkner to get through.
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Shut your damn mouth.
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Men and women alike, if you think that altering the tip of your nose with surgery will make you happier, I would suggest you alter something much more malleable than your flesh, like your priorities, or your friends.
Nick Offerman
When we think of an actor, we think of a tanned, frosted-tipped, model-looking guy. We don't think of a plumber.
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I think it's fascinating that I receive attention for what people perceive to be a level of manliness or machismo, when amongst my family of farmers and paramedics and regular Americans, I'm kind of the sissy in my family.
Nick Offerman
Auditioning for television shows - to find a guy who has a lot of experience as a laborer is a bit of an anomaly. We do exist. I know several other actors who have made their living, instead of a waitress job, framing houses or blacktopping roads.
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A lot of people find themselves in the entertainment business - or perhaps society steers them toward it - because they're beautiful.
Nick Offerman
Damn it all, you have been given a life on this beautiful planet! Get off your ass and do something!
Nick Offerman
