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I keep having these bros come up to me and say, I used to watch you when I was a fetus, and I just want to kill them.
Nick Offerman
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Nick Offerman
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: June 26
Actor
Carpenter
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Joliet
Illinois
Nicholas Offerman
Nicholas David Offerman
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More quotes by Nick Offerman
I am always so happy to be at 'SNL.' I still feel like a kid when I'm there, like I can't believe I'm watching them make the show.
Nick Offerman
Always maintain the attitude of a student. If you think you've done learning, bitterness sets in, but if you have more to achieve every day, in any arena, that makes each morning's awakening full of potential and cheery portent.
Nick Offerman
Children are so egocentric - they want to watch their lives, and not yours.
Nick Offerman
Of course smartphones are brilliant inventions, but the nefarious thing about Twitter and other social media is that it starts to fill all the gaps in your day. I quickly become an addict.
Nick Offerman
I've never seen a theater community to rival that of Chicago. Neither New York nor L.A. has the raw talent or integrity that Chicago theater has, and I think it's because Chicago doesn't have Broadway or the film and TV business to distract it.
Nick Offerman
I learned in my early years in the theater that I would never become the guy on top. I'll never create a show I don't have a brain expansive enough to see the whole picture, in a way that would behoove anyone.
Nick Offerman
I won't read a new graphic comic novel until the writer has completed the entire series. I got burned a few times when I got turned on to a book, plowed through it only to find out the author was in the middle of writing the next.
Nick Offerman
I have a very healthy growth of both head and facial hair. People always want to attribute further superhuman powers to me. It's funny the way the audience really seems to want me, Nick the actor, to exhibit the same machismo as Ron Swanson.
Nick Offerman
When we think of an actor, we think of a tanned, frosted-tipped, model-looking guy. We don't think of a plumber.
Nick Offerman
Whatever it is you like to do, that's the sexiest part of you.
Nick Offerman
Figure out what you love to do, then figure out how to get paid to do it.
Nick Offerman
I'm obsessed with the Victorian era and the British Royal Navy... I'd love to play a troubled sailor or captain or a boatman on a three masted ship.
Nick Offerman
People are afraid that they're going to upset somebody on top, and so there's a real sense of, I've got to be quiet, I don't want to be fired.
Nick Offerman
The ultimate disguise is nothing. Nudity.
Nick Offerman
I grew up among farmers in Illinois and so you always have to have the tools you might need in the eventuality of a flat tire or a broken window.
Nick Offerman
I'm enjoying the opportunity that Parks And Recreation affords me to exploit my own soapbox agenda, which is to try to encourage people to make things with their hands.
Nick Offerman
One of the most poignant pieces of recent science fiction for me was the portrayal of the adults in the Pixar film WALL-E. I feel like we're on the cusp of becoming fat babies in floating chairs being fed everything in shake form, and I feel like I am as prone to laziness as anybody.
Nick Offerman
You know, it's hard to beat bacon at anytime of day. But I also am a big fan of corned beef hash.
Nick Offerman
When I hear young people today complain about being bored - and the things that keep them from being bored are generally exclusively videogames and/or computer pastimes - I just try to encourage them to go outside.
Nick Offerman
When I first met with agents, they said, Okay, you're going to play plumbers and mechanics and bus drivers and farmers. Go.
Nick Offerman
