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I keep having these bros come up to me and say, I used to watch you when I was a fetus, and I just want to kill them.
Nick Offerman
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Nick Offerman
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: June 26
Actor
Carpenter
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Joliet
Illinois
Nicholas Offerman
Nicholas David Offerman
Bros
Fetus
Kill
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More quotes by Nick Offerman
I have a corn creamer that I love. It extracts pulp and juice from kernels, and I simmer that down into a creamed corn that has an almost mashed potato-like consistency. I add butter and hit it with chopped fresh chives at the end for an accent of color.
Nick Offerman
I think that laziness in many ways is the human condition, and that's what has led us to this place where, as we've developed technology.
Nick Offerman
Doing voice work is more like recording music that people are going to listen to. You're creating an oral experience using whatever bells and whistles you have in your voice, and you can shut your eyes and use your imagination and nobody's going to see if the faces you make don't match the voices you make. That's a lot of fun.
Nick Offerman
I think it's fascinating that I receive attention for what people perceive to be a level of manliness or machismo, when amongst my family of farmers and paramedics and regular Americans, I'm kind of the sissy in my family.
Nick Offerman
I grew up in a small town in Illinois, and my dad was a basketball coach. Thanks to him, I have excellent fundamentals in both basketball and baseball.
Nick Offerman
If I had more time, I'd watch more woodworking or home-improvement shows, but, not enough hours in the day.
Nick Offerman
I've learned through experience that to trouble celebrities with my handshake doesn't do anybody any good.
Nick Offerman
Always maintain the attitude of a student. If you think you've done learning, bitterness sets in, but if you have more to achieve every day, in any arena, that makes each morning's awakening full of potential and cheery portent.
Nick Offerman
Children are so egocentric - they want to watch their lives, and not yours.
Nick Offerman
When I was in fourth grade, we were learning vocabulary words, and the word nonconformist came up. The teacher said, It's somebody who whatever everybody is doing, they do the opposite. I remember raising my hand and saying, Mrs. Christiansen, I would like to be a nonconformist.
Nick Offerman
I've had to learn and discipline myself that I'm much happier and much less depressed if I give myself a project. It's just that simple.
Nick Offerman
It's funny, growing up there was never anybody around me with any kind of artistic bent.
Nick Offerman
I am always so happy to be at 'SNL.' I still feel like a kid when I'm there, like I can't believe I'm watching them make the show.
Nick Offerman
There's a lot of common sense ... which I feel like we have lost touch with.
Nick Offerman
If your shirt isn't tucked into your pants, then your pants are tucked into your shirt.
Nick Offerman
Men and women alike, if you think that altering the tip of your nose with surgery will make you happier, I would suggest you alter something much more malleable than your flesh, like your priorities, or your friends.
Nick Offerman
When I hear young people today complain about being bored - and the things that keep them from being bored are generally exclusively videogames and/or computer pastimes - I just try to encourage them to go outside.
Nick Offerman
When we think of an actor, we think of a tanned, frosted-tipped, model-looking guy. We don't think of a plumber.
Nick Offerman
I am a saxophone player.
Nick Offerman
People are afraid that they're going to upset somebody on top, and so there's a real sense of, I've got to be quiet, I don't want to be fired.
Nick Offerman
