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I really thought that I'd be doing Shakespeare, honest to God. I did not foresee the whole action television thing. That was God's joke.

Nick Offerman

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Nick Offerman
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: June 26
Actor
Carpenter
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Joliet
Illinois
Nicholas Offerman
Nicholas David Offerman
Television
Honest
Action
Thought
Foresee
Whole
Shakespeare
Thing
Joke
Really
Jokes

More quotes by Nick Offerman

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How lucky my life is that I have two arms, and two legs, and ten fingers with which to make things out of wood.
Nick Offerman
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Figure out what you love to do, then figure out how to get paid to do it.
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The world is split into two halves: the bacon, and the bacon eaters.
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I keep having these bros come up to me and say, I used to watch you when I was a fetus, and I just want to kill them.
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I always had a lot of confidence in my work and the unique flavor I like to bring to my characters, but you know I'm not a huge dreamer.
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Auditioning for television shows - to find a guy who has a lot of experience as a laborer is a bit of an anomaly. We do exist. I know several other actors who have made their living, instead of a waitress job, framing houses or blacktopping roads.
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I come from a family of fishermen. Fishing is very important to us. We don't hunt. We're not gun folk.
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Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Don't teach a man to fish and you feed yourself. He's a grown man, fishing's not that hard.
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I think that laziness in many ways is the human condition, and that's what has led us to this place where, as we've developed technology.
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You know, even working actors can end up having a lot of spare time. And you can either go sit at the Starbucks and wait for your agent to call you, or you can go learn how to build a Shaker blanket chest with hand-cut dovetails.
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If properly dried and trimmed, New York-style pizza could be used to make a box for Chicago-style pizza. I love a slice when I'm in NYC, but it's like eating a Slim Jim compared with a filet mignon. One slice of Gino's East stuffed sausage pizza is a bigger meal than an entire New York pie.
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I think the whole thing is kind of sad, honestly, in the same way that our civilization - particularly the consumers of pop culture - has grown so used to an emasculated, bare-chested leading man that something like simply growing a mustache can impress people.
Nick Offerman
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I just always had a penchant for performing for people.I'm a jackass clown.
Nick Offerman
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When I was in fourth grade, we were learning vocabulary words, and the word nonconformist came up. The teacher said, It's somebody who whatever everybody is doing, they do the opposite. I remember raising my hand and saying, Mrs. Christiansen, I would like to be a nonconformist.
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A lot of people find themselves in the entertainment business - or perhaps society steers them toward it - because they're beautiful.
Nick Offerman
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The ultimate disguise is nothing. Nudity.
Nick Offerman
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I would like Americans to make things with their hands. Thomas Jefferson and I feel that makes for a much stronger nation.
Nick Offerman
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Not only do I recommend Wendell Berry to anyone who will talk to me for more than seven seconds, but I buy his books in quantity and send them to people. I bought a few dozen of his newest, Our Only World.
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I have a wonderfully hedonistic appetite, and if I wasn't really strict with myself, I'd weigh 300 pounds. I'm not good with moderation.
Nick Offerman
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If you don't look at yourself and evaluate it, you instead see how the world's reacting to it.
Nick Offerman