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If I had more time, I'd watch more woodworking or home-improvement shows, but, not enough hours in the day.
Nick Offerman
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Nick Offerman
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: June 26
Actor
Carpenter
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Joliet
Illinois
Nicholas Offerman
Nicholas David Offerman
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Woodworking
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More quotes by Nick Offerman
I've split my life between a few different disciplines.
Nick Offerman
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Don't teach a man to fish and you feed yourself. He's a grown man, fishing's not that hard.
Nick Offerman
Marijuana is quite possibly the finest of intoxicants. It has been scientifically proven, for decades, to be much less harmful to the body than alcohol when used on a regular basis.
Nick Offerman
People keep referring to me as a standup, and that just doesn't sit well with me because a lot of my friends are standups and they're brilliant at writing jokes, and I'm not.
Nick Offerman
I learned as a young man that I don't write jokes, but that I can deliver more mundane material and get a laugh. I call myself a humorist.
Nick Offerman
People are afraid that they're going to upset somebody on top, and so there's a real sense of, I've got to be quiet, I don't want to be fired.
Nick Offerman
Jobs that require a suit upset me. They displease me much, as our world is rife with such superficial conformity.
Nick Offerman
I think what makes so many other actors miserable is focusing completely on making other plans. They're obsessed with their haircut and their headshot and their agent, their IMDB profile or whatever.
Nick Offerman
I have a very healthy growth of both head and facial hair. People always want to attribute further superhuman powers to me. It's funny the way the audience really seems to want me, Nick the actor, to exhibit the same machismo as Ron Swanson.
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We have such an embarrassment of riches when it comes to choice. Do you want to hike in the Alps? There are 300 pairs of shoes you can order within the next 10 minutes. You have your choice of everything.
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I was drinking a lot of bourbon. I was miserable. I was starting to get work, but it wasn't remotely satisfying. It was garbage compared to the theater I was doing.
Nick Offerman
I am always so happy to be at 'SNL.' I still feel like a kid when I'm there, like I can't believe I'm watching them make the show.
Nick Offerman
I just always had a penchant for performing for people.I'm a jackass clown.
Nick Offerman
I would like Americans to make things with their hands. Thomas Jefferson and I feel that makes for a much stronger nation.
Nick Offerman
When I arrive in Los Angeles in the entertainment community, and I use implements like a shovel and a hammer, our society has distanced itself so far from working with its hands that those incredibly pedestrian skills are perceived as somehow being extraordinary.
Nick Offerman
You know, it's hard to beat bacon at anytime of day. But I also am a big fan of corned beef hash.
Nick Offerman
I always had a lot of confidence in my work and the unique flavor I like to bring to my characters, but you know I'm not a huge dreamer.
Nick Offerman
How lucky my life is that I have two arms, and two legs, and ten fingers with which to make things out of wood.
Nick Offerman
When we think of an actor, we think of a tanned, frosted-tipped, model-looking guy. We don't think of a plumber.
Nick Offerman
I'm enjoying the opportunity that Parks And Recreation affords me to exploit my own soapbox agenda, which is to try to encourage people to make things with their hands.
Nick Offerman
