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I've learned through experience that to trouble celebrities with my handshake doesn't do anybody any good.

Nick Offerman

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Nick Offerman
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: June 26
Actor
Carpenter
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Joliet
Illinois
Nicholas Offerman
Nicholas David Offerman
Experience
Doesn
Good
Handshake
Celebrities
Anybody
Learned
Trouble

More quotes by Nick Offerman

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I always call performing live giving the people the medicine, because when you're engaged in it, you can feel the sort of soul magic being exchanged between the performer and the audience.
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How lucky my life is that I have two arms, and two legs, and ten fingers with which to make things out of wood.
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I've been working steadily as an actor since around 1998. I wasn't well known in the public, but I was a dependable working journeyman.
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People keep referring to me as a standup, and that just doesn't sit well with me because a lot of my friends are standups and they're brilliant at writing jokes, and I'm not.
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I won't read a new graphic comic novel until the writer has completed the entire series. I got burned a few times when I got turned on to a book, plowed through it only to find out the author was in the middle of writing the next.
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I grew up among farmers in Illinois and so you always have to have the tools you might need in the eventuality of a flat tire or a broken window.
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If your shirt isn't tucked into your pants, then your pants are tucked into your shirt.
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When it comes to marijuana, I think it's ridiculous to live in a country that espouses freedom, liberty and equality, yet won't follow through on a philosophy that says: If it's not hurting anybody or their property, you can do any goddamn thing you want.
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I have a Kenwood charcoal grill. In our house, if anybody is cooking, it's me. I love making burgers. I love making pork tenderloin. Lamb chops I do on the grill a lot. But you just can't beat brats.
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I feel it's important to point out that I've earned my humility by being a jackass - like, I trip and fall on my face and say, Oh, right. Don't think you're a big shot, because you've got a bloody nose now. So it's hard to say.
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I really thought that I'd be doing Shakespeare, honest to God. I did not foresee the whole action television thing. That was God's joke.
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I always drastically changed my look for each role. It's gotten a little tedious in real life, also, because there's no hiding.
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Shut your damn mouth.
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The quest for the next key art awards begins with tomorrow's hangover
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I learned as a young man that I don't write jokes, but that I can deliver more mundane material and get a laugh. I call myself a humorist.
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The world is split into two halves: the bacon, and the bacon eaters.
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My wife happens to be probably the greatest working woman in comedy. I can't think of anyone who even approaches her achievements and her abilities.
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Love one another, make something with your hands, and exalt the farmer.
Nick Offerman
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I would like Americans to make things with their hands. Thomas Jefferson and I feel that makes for a much stronger nation.
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I think that purity creates not only a higher level of artistic vision but a purer work ethic.
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