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The world is split into two halves: the bacon, and the bacon eaters.

Nick Offerman

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Nick Offerman
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: June 26
Actor
Carpenter
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Joliet
Illinois
Nicholas Offerman
Nicholas David Offerman
Halves
Bacon
Split
Splits
Half
Two
World
Eaters

More quotes by Nick Offerman

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I come from a family of fishermen. Fishing is very important to us. We don't hunt. We're not gun folk.
Nick Offerman
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I learned as a young man that I don't write jokes, but that I can deliver more mundane material and get a laugh. I call myself a humorist.
Nick Offerman
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I've been working steadily as an actor since around 1998. I wasn't well known in the public, but I was a dependable working journeyman.
Nick Offerman
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The quest for the next key art awards begins with tomorrow's hangover
Nick Offerman
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If you're an original thinker, you are going get told 'no' a lot, and you have to be able to hear 'no' many times from the bankers and trust that at some point, someone is going to recognize that you are an artist and not a can of soda.
Nick Offerman
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I have a Kenwood charcoal grill. In our house, if anybody is cooking, it's me. I love making burgers. I love making pork tenderloin. Lamb chops I do on the grill a lot. But you just can't beat brats.
Nick Offerman
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Love one another, make something with your hands, and exalt the farmer.
Nick Offerman
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When it comes to marijuana, I think it's ridiculous to live in a country that espouses freedom, liberty and equality, yet won't follow through on a philosophy that says: If it's not hurting anybody or their property, you can do any goddamn thing you want.
Nick Offerman
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If your shirt isn't tucked into your pants, then your pants are tucked into your shirt.
Nick Offerman
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Shut your damn mouth.
Nick Offerman
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I have a very healthy growth of both head and facial hair. People always want to attribute further superhuman powers to me. It's funny the way the audience really seems to want me, Nick the actor, to exhibit the same machismo as Ron Swanson.
Nick Offerman
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Doing voice work is more like recording music that people are going to listen to. You're creating an oral experience using whatever bells and whistles you have in your voice, and you can shut your eyes and use your imagination and nobody's going to see if the faces you make don't match the voices you make. That's a lot of fun.
Nick Offerman
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When I first met with agents, they said, Okay, you're going to play plumbers and mechanics and bus drivers and farmers. Go.
Nick Offerman
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The ultimate disguise is nothing. Nudity.
Nick Offerman
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I learned in my early years in the theater that I would never become the guy on top. I'll never create a show I don't have a brain expansive enough to see the whole picture, in a way that would behoove anyone.
Nick Offerman
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Men and women alike, if you think that altering the tip of your nose with surgery will make you happier, I would suggest you alter something much more malleable than your flesh, like your priorities, or your friends.
Nick Offerman
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I'm obsessed with the Victorian era and the British Royal Navy... I'd love to play a troubled sailor or captain or a boatman on a three masted ship.
Nick Offerman
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I always call performing live giving the people the medicine, because when you're engaged in it, you can feel the sort of soul magic being exchanged between the performer and the audience.
Nick Offerman
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Damn it all, you have been given a life on this beautiful planet! Get off your ass and do something!
Nick Offerman
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I learned the word non-conformist in fourth grade and immediately announced that I would grow up to become one.
Nick Offerman