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The world is split into two halves: the bacon, and the bacon eaters.

Nick Offerman

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Nick Offerman
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: June 26
Actor
Carpenter
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Joliet
Illinois
Nicholas Offerman
Nicholas David Offerman
Split
Splits
Half
Two
World
Eaters
Halves
Bacon

More quotes by Nick Offerman

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Always maintain the attitude of a student. If you think you've done learning, bitterness sets in, but if you have more to achieve every day, in any arena, that makes each morning's awakening full of potential and cheery portent.
Nick Offerman
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Auditioning for television shows - to find a guy who has a lot of experience as a laborer is a bit of an anomaly. We do exist. I know several other actors who have made their living, instead of a waitress job, framing houses or blacktopping roads.
Nick Offerman
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You know, it's hard to beat bacon at anytime of day. But I also am a big fan of corned beef hash.
Nick Offerman
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I grew up in a small town in Illinois, and my dad was a basketball coach. Thanks to him, I have excellent fundamentals in both basketball and baseball.
Nick Offerman
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We have such an embarrassment of riches when it comes to choice. Do you want to hike in the Alps? There are 300 pairs of shoes you can order within the next 10 minutes. You have your choice of everything.
Nick Offerman
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I learned in my early years in the theater that I would never become the guy on top. I'll never create a show I don't have a brain expansive enough to see the whole picture, in a way that would behoove anyone.
Nick Offerman
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People keep referring to me as a standup, and that just doesn't sit well with me because a lot of my friends are standups and they're brilliant at writing jokes, and I'm not.
Nick Offerman
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It's funny, growing up there was never anybody around me with any kind of artistic bent.
Nick Offerman
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I always call performing live giving the people the medicine, because when you're engaged in it, you can feel the sort of soul magic being exchanged between the performer and the audience.
Nick Offerman
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If properly dried and trimmed, New York-style pizza could be used to make a box for Chicago-style pizza. I love a slice when I'm in NYC, but it's like eating a Slim Jim compared with a filet mignon. One slice of Gino's East stuffed sausage pizza is a bigger meal than an entire New York pie.
Nick Offerman
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I've split my life between a few different disciplines.
Nick Offerman
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I am always so happy to be at 'SNL.' I still feel like a kid when I'm there, like I can't believe I'm watching them make the show.
Nick Offerman
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If your shirt isn't tucked into your pants, then your pants are tucked into your shirt.
Nick Offerman
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I really thought that I'd be doing Shakespeare, honest to God. I did not foresee the whole action television thing. That was God's joke.
Nick Offerman
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I have a Kenwood charcoal grill. In our house, if anybody is cooking, it's me. I love making burgers. I love making pork tenderloin. Lamb chops I do on the grill a lot. But you just can't beat brats.
Nick Offerman
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Marijuana is quite possibly the finest of intoxicants. It has been scientifically proven, for decades, to be much less harmful to the body than alcohol when used on a regular basis.
Nick Offerman
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I learned the word non-conformist in fourth grade and immediately announced that I would grow up to become one.
Nick Offerman
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I always call myself a student of the guitar.
Nick Offerman
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I keep having these bros come up to me and say, I used to watch you when I was a fetus, and I just want to kill them.
Nick Offerman
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I would like Americans to make things with their hands. Thomas Jefferson and I feel that makes for a much stronger nation.
Nick Offerman