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The world is split into two halves: the bacon, and the bacon eaters.

Nick Offerman

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Nick Offerman
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: June 26
Actor
Carpenter
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Joliet
Illinois
Nicholas Offerman
Nicholas David Offerman
Half
Two
World
Eaters
Halves
Bacon
Split
Splits

More quotes by Nick Offerman

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I am always so happy to be at 'SNL.' I still feel like a kid when I'm there, like I can't believe I'm watching them make the show.
Nick Offerman
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Men and women alike, if you think that altering the tip of your nose with surgery will make you happier, I would suggest you alter something much more malleable than your flesh, like your priorities, or your friends.
Nick Offerman
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I keep having these bros come up to me and say, I used to watch you when I was a fetus, and I just want to kill them.
Nick Offerman
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Just stand up for your principals and be loyal to your friends and family.
Nick Offerman
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People are afraid that they're going to upset somebody on top, and so there's a real sense of, I've got to be quiet, I don't want to be fired.
Nick Offerman
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I learned the word non-conformist in fourth grade and immediately announced that I would grow up to become one.
Nick Offerman
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I have a very healthy growth of both head and facial hair. People always want to attribute further superhuman powers to me. It's funny the way the audience really seems to want me, Nick the actor, to exhibit the same machismo as Ron Swanson.
Nick Offerman
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The ultimate disguise is nothing. Nudity.
Nick Offerman
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I made an executive decision in college when I learned how behind I was in the world of books, films, and music because of my rural upbringing. I really reduced the amount of time that sports took up in my life.I still have some Faulkner to get through.
Nick Offerman
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Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Don't teach a man to fish and you feed yourself. He's a grown man, fishing's not that hard.
Nick Offerman
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I really thought that I'd be doing Shakespeare, honest to God. I did not foresee the whole action television thing. That was God's joke.
Nick Offerman
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Damn it all, you have been given a life on this beautiful planet! Get off your ass and do something!
Nick Offerman
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I'm quite excited to not play a Xena type character - it's probably closer to me than any character I've ever played.
Nick Offerman
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Meat is a big deal in my life. I do love breakfast food, but I don't think that's extraordinary. I'm a normal American. We love eggs and meat and potatoes and gravy.
Nick Offerman
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Not only do I recommend Wendell Berry to anyone who will talk to me for more than seven seconds, but I buy his books in quantity and send them to people. I bought a few dozen of his newest, Our Only World.
Nick Offerman
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For years I drove a big Ford F250 pickup. That was my ride because two-thirds of my work was wood work, and I'm always driving up to Northern California, where I harvest salvaged trees.
Nick Offerman
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I'm obsessed with the Victorian era and the British Royal Navy... I'd love to play a troubled sailor or captain or a boatman on a three masted ship.
Nick Offerman
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I learned in my early years in the theater that I would never become the guy on top. I'll never create a show I don't have a brain expansive enough to see the whole picture, in a way that would behoove anyone.
Nick Offerman
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I first read Wendell Berry's short-story collections, Fidelity and then Watch with Me. They just knocked my socks off. The characters and the fellowship of the small town reminded me of my own small town in Illinois.Then I discovered that, much like J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis, that all of Berry's fiction was centered in this same town.
Nick Offerman
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I've split my life between a few different disciplines.
Nick Offerman