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The world is split into two halves: the bacon, and the bacon eaters.

Nick Offerman

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Nick Offerman
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: June 26
Actor
Carpenter
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Joliet
Illinois
Nicholas Offerman
Nicholas David Offerman
Two
World
Eaters
Halves
Bacon
Split
Splits
Half

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People keep referring to me as a standup, and that just doesn't sit well with me because a lot of my friends are standups and they're brilliant at writing jokes, and I'm not.
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I always had a lot of confidence in my work and the unique flavor I like to bring to my characters, but you know I'm not a huge dreamer.
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Of course smartphones are brilliant inventions, but the nefarious thing about Twitter and other social media is that it starts to fill all the gaps in your day. I quickly become an addict.
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I was drinking a lot of bourbon. I was miserable. I was starting to get work, but it wasn't remotely satisfying. It was garbage compared to the theater I was doing.
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It's irrelevant to me if other people know who I am. I'm just, I'm really happy. It calms me down, too. If you're on top of an oilrig, fighting with politicians, or whatever - you need a bit of wisdom to realize that you're not always right, or that you're not always being reasonable, or you're not always listening.
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I first read Wendell Berry's short-story collections, Fidelity and then Watch with Me. They just knocked my socks off. The characters and the fellowship of the small town reminded me of my own small town in Illinois.Then I discovered that, much like J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis, that all of Berry's fiction was centered in this same town.
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If you like comedy, go home and curl up with Leviticus. The writers of The Onion are handed Leviticus on their first day.
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When we think of an actor, we think of a tanned, frosted-tipped, model-looking guy. We don't think of a plumber.
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I made an executive decision in college when I learned how behind I was in the world of books, films, and music because of my rural upbringing. I really reduced the amount of time that sports took up in my life.I still have some Faulkner to get through.
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Don't use barbiturates before going on stage. And be honest.
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I come from a family of fishermen. Fishing is very important to us. We don't hunt. We're not gun folk.
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I feel it's important to point out that I've earned my humility by being a jackass - like, I trip and fall on my face and say, Oh, right. Don't think you're a big shot, because you've got a bloody nose now. So it's hard to say.
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Your dreams are always going to seem much more profound to you then they are to your friend.
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If you don't look at yourself and evaluate it, you instead see how the world's reacting to it.
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The first thing I do, after I talk with the director and we agree that I'm going to do the role... My jumping off point is I get a picture of what my 'look' will be. My wardrobe style, my facial hair, glasses and all that kind of stuff.
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I'm quite excited to not play a Xena type character - it's probably closer to me than any character I've ever played.
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You know, it's hard to beat bacon at anytime of day. But I also am a big fan of corned beef hash.
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Love one another, make something with your hands, and exalt the farmer.
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My wife happens to be probably the greatest working woman in comedy. I can't think of anyone who even approaches her achievements and her abilities.
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I've split my life between a few different disciplines.
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