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Men and women alike, if you think that altering the tip of your nose with surgery will make you happier, I would suggest you alter something much more malleable than your flesh, like your priorities, or your friends.

Nick Offerman

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Nick Offerman
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: June 26
Actor
Carpenter
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Joliet
Illinois
Nicholas Offerman
Nicholas David Offerman
Much
Surgery
Something
Alike
Make
Nose
Would
Noses
Malleable
Men
Priorities
Altering
Think
Flesh
Alter
Thinking
Friends
Suggest
Like
Women
Happier

More quotes by Nick Offerman

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You know, even working actors can end up having a lot of spare time. And you can either go sit at the Starbucks and wait for your agent to call you, or you can go learn how to build a Shaker blanket chest with hand-cut dovetails.
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I learned in my early years in the theater that I would never become the guy on top. I'll never create a show I don't have a brain expansive enough to see the whole picture, in a way that would behoove anyone.
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I feel it's important to point out that I've earned my humility by being a jackass - like, I trip and fall on my face and say, Oh, right. Don't think you're a big shot, because you've got a bloody nose now. So it's hard to say.
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One of the most poignant pieces of recent science fiction for me was the portrayal of the adults in the Pixar film WALL-E. I feel like we're on the cusp of becoming fat babies in floating chairs being fed everything in shake form, and I feel like I am as prone to laziness as anybody.
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If you don't look at yourself and evaluate it, you instead see how the world's reacting to it.
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When we think of an actor, we think of a tanned, frosted-tipped, model-looking guy. We don't think of a plumber.
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There's a lot of common sense ... which I feel like we have lost touch with.
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How lucky my life is that I have two arms, and two legs, and ten fingers with which to make things out of wood.
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Love one another, make something with your hands, and exalt the farmer.
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Once you have a PhD, every meeting you go to becomes a doctor's appointment.
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The world is split into two halves: the bacon, and the bacon eaters.
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I learned the word non-conformist in fourth grade and immediately announced that I would grow up to become one.
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I always had a lot of confidence in my work and the unique flavor I like to bring to my characters, but you know I'm not a huge dreamer.
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You know, it's hard to beat bacon at anytime of day. But I also am a big fan of corned beef hash.
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I have a Kenwood charcoal grill. In our house, if anybody is cooking, it's me. I love making burgers. I love making pork tenderloin. Lamb chops I do on the grill a lot. But you just can't beat brats.
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It's irrelevant to me if other people know who I am. I'm just, I'm really happy. It calms me down, too. If you're on top of an oilrig, fighting with politicians, or whatever - you need a bit of wisdom to realize that you're not always right, or that you're not always being reasonable, or you're not always listening.
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The ultimate disguise is nothing. Nudity.
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I've split my life between a few different disciplines.
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I made an executive decision in college when I learned how behind I was in the world of books, films, and music because of my rural upbringing. I really reduced the amount of time that sports took up in my life.I still have some Faulkner to get through.
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Shut your damn mouth.
Nick Offerman