Quote

Men and women alike, if you think that altering the tip of your nose with surgery will make you happier, I would suggest you alter something much more malleable than your flesh, like your priorities, or your friends.

Nick Offerman

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Nick Offerman
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: June 26
Actor
Carpenter
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Joliet
Illinois
Nicholas Offerman
Nicholas David Offerman
Thinking
Friends
Suggest
Like
Women
Happier
Much
Surgery
Something
Alike
Make
Nose
Would
Noses
Malleable
Men
Priorities
Altering
Think
Flesh
Alter

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Love one another, make something with your hands, and exalt the farmer.
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If I had more time, I'd watch more woodworking or home-improvement shows, but, not enough hours in the day.
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People keep referring to me as a standup, and that just doesn't sit well with me because a lot of my friends are standups and they're brilliant at writing jokes, and I'm not.
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I really thought that I'd be doing Shakespeare, honest to God. I did not foresee the whole action television thing. That was God's joke.
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Once you have a PhD, every meeting you go to becomes a doctor's appointment.
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You know, it's hard to beat bacon at anytime of day. But I also am a big fan of corned beef hash.
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I grew up among farmers in Illinois and so you always have to have the tools you might need in the eventuality of a flat tire or a broken window.
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When I was in fourth grade, we were learning vocabulary words, and the word nonconformist came up. The teacher said, It's somebody who whatever everybody is doing, they do the opposite. I remember raising my hand and saying, Mrs. Christiansen, I would like to be a nonconformist.
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The ultimate disguise is nothing. Nudity.
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I grew up in a small town in Illinois, and my dad was a basketball coach. Thanks to him, I have excellent fundamentals in both basketball and baseball.
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When it comes to marijuana, I think it's ridiculous to live in a country that espouses freedom, liberty and equality, yet won't follow through on a philosophy that says: If it's not hurting anybody or their property, you can do any goddamn thing you want.
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When I arrive in Los Angeles in the entertainment community, and I use implements like a shovel and a hammer, our society has distanced itself so far from working with its hands that those incredibly pedestrian skills are perceived as somehow being extraordinary.
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For years I drove a big Ford F250 pickup. That was my ride because two-thirds of my work was wood work, and I'm always driving up to Northern California, where I harvest salvaged trees.
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If your shirt isn't tucked into your pants, then your pants are tucked into your shirt.
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I think that purity creates not only a higher level of artistic vision but a purer work ethic.
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People are afraid that they're going to upset somebody on top, and so there's a real sense of, I've got to be quiet, I don't want to be fired.
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I am always so happy to be at 'SNL.' I still feel like a kid when I'm there, like I can't believe I'm watching them make the show.
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Jobs that require a suit upset me. They displease me much, as our world is rife with such superficial conformity.
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I always had a lot of confidence in my work and the unique flavor I like to bring to my characters, but you know I'm not a huge dreamer.
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Marijuana is quite possibly the finest of intoxicants. It has been scientifically proven, for decades, to be much less harmful to the body than alcohol when used on a regular basis.
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