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Telling me I can do anything I want is like pulling the plug out of the bath and then telling the water it can go anywhere it wants. Try it, and see what happens.

Nick Hornby

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Nick Hornby
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: April 17
Essayist
Film Producer
Lyricist
Novelist
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
Nicholas Peter John Hornby
Anywhere
Telling
Wants
Water
Plug
Happens
Plugs
Anything
Bath
Trying
Baths
Like
Pulling

More quotes by Nick Hornby

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Radio football is football reduced to its lowest common denominator. Shorn of the game's aesthetic pleasures, or the comfort of a crowd that feels the same way as you, or the sense of security that you get when you see that your defenders and goalkeeper are more or less where they should be, all that is left is naked fear.
Nick Hornby
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Complaining about boring football is a little like complaining about the sad ending of King Lear: it misses the point somehow.
Nick Hornby
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Barry, you're over thirty years old. You owe it to your mum and dad not to sing in a group called Sonic Death Monkey.
Nick Hornby
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I had forgotten that Jess felt about long words the way that racists feel about black people: She hated them, and wanted to send them back from where they came from.
Nick Hornby
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And mostly all I have to say about these songs is that I love them, and want to sing along to them, and force other people to listen to them, and get cross when these other people don't like them as much as I do.
Nick Hornby
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It's no wonder we're all such a mess, is it? We're like Tom Hanks in Big. Little boys and girls trapped in adult bodies and forced to get on with it.
Nick Hornby
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I'm very good at the past. It's the present I can't understand.
Nick Hornby
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Not for the first time in my life, and certainly not for the last, a self-righteous gloom had edged out all semblance of logic.
Nick Hornby
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The truth will set you free. Either that or it'll get you a punch in the nose.
Nick Hornby
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No man is an island.
Nick Hornby
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Sometimes we have to be judged by our one-offs.
Nick Hornby
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A middle-aged woman who looked like someone's cleaning lady, a shrieking adolescent lunatic and a talkshow host with an orange face... It didn't add up. Suicide wasn't invented for people like this. It was invented for people like Virginia Woolf and Nick Drake. And Me. Suicide was supposed to be cool.
Nick Hornby
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Like all books that have that kind of momentum, it starts from word of mouth.
Nick Hornby
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I really don't want to be boring, and so many books are so boring!
Nick Hornby
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On New Year's Eve he ould make a resolution to recover some his previous scepticism, but until then he would do as the Romans do, and smile at people even if he disapproved of them
Nick Hornby
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...So please, be tolerant of those who describe a sporting moment as their best ever. We do not lack imagination, nor have we had sad and barren lives it is just that real life is paler, duller, and contains less potential for unexpected delirium.
Nick Hornby
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I'm still not a very good white wine, but I'm drinkable - you could put me in a punch, anyway.
Nick Hornby
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That was his mother. When she wasn't crying over the breakfast cereal, she was laughing about killing herself.
Nick Hornby
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An official statement from Liverpool raised the spectre of a future where 'a club's rival can bring about a significant ban for a top player without anything beyond an accusation'. But on hearing this, many Manchester United fans would have been asking for a definition of the word 'rival'.
Nick Hornby
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Where's the superficial? I was, and therefore am, dim, gloomy, a drag, unfashionable, unfanciable, and awkward. This doesn't seem like superficial to me. These aren't flesh wounds. These are life-threatening thrusts into the internal organs.
Nick Hornby