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It looks different when you're sober I thought I had twice as much furniture.

Neil Simon

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Neil Simon
Age: 91 †
Born: 1927
Born: July 4
Died: 2018
Died: August 26
Entrepreneur
Film Producer
Librettist
Lyricist
Playwright
Screenwriter
New York City
New York
Marvin Neil Simon
Much
Sober
Twice
Drinking
House
Thought
Home
Looks
Different
Furniture

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I never write a play with an eye to film.
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The first book was my first attempt at writing full-length prose.
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I much prefer writing an original movie with the screen in mind to transferring a play to the screen.
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Writers feel like a middleman, standing with pen in hand over the page. A force greater than me stands above telling me what to write. That may sound romantic, but that's how it feels.
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I understand. You work very hard two days a week and you need a five-day weekend. That's normal.
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I don't like dating or just living with a woman. I like to create a relationship, a marriage. And almost all of my marriages have involved children, so I'm really a family man as well.
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I don't want to restrict the life of a play to a particular production. The original actors might leave after the first six months, and I want the play to last 30 or 40 years. You write for the character, not the actor on the stage.
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I go to see plays all the time, and whenever I see Chekhov, I'm amazed at how this Russian play strikes home to me living 100 years later in New York City. I'm drawn to him because of his way with characters and their relationships with each other.
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It's always painful when you're writing memoirs because you've got to go through the dark places, but it gives you a chance to find out the person you really are, not the person you thought you were.
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All humor is based on hostility - that's why World War Two was funny.
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Evan Handler's new book is simply wonderful. He pulls you inside his life, and you come out his very close friend.
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Sports is the only entertainment where, no matter how many times you go back, you never know the ending.
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If no one ever took risks, Michaelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor.
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He's too nervous to kill himself. He wears his seat belt in a drive-in movie.
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I don't use computers... I'm someone who needs to see the page right away in my hand.
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I love living. I have some problems with my life, but living is the best thing they've come up with so far.
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Once you've opened yourself up, it's best to go all the way.
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There's no such thing as a sure thing. That's why they call it gambling.
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Sudden money is going from zero to two hundred dollars a week. The rest doesn't count.
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Gee, what a terrific party. Later on we'll get some fluid and embalm each other.
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