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He's too nervous to kill himself. He wears his seat belt in a drive-in movie.

Neil Simon

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Neil Simon
Age: 91 †
Born: 1927
Born: July 4
Died: 2018
Died: August 26
Entrepreneur
Film Producer
Librettist
Lyricist
Playwright
Screenwriter
New York City
New York
Marvin Neil Simon
Humorous
Nervous
Drive
Kill
Belt
Movie
Belts
Wears
Seat
Seats

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It's always painful when you're writing memoirs because you've got to go through the dark places, but it gives you a chance to find out the person you really are, not the person you thought you were.
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I feel like writing about a time when I was probably, and think all of us are, the happiest before the obligations start in.
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I go to see plays all the time, and whenever I see Chekhov, I'm amazed at how this Russian play strikes home to me living 100 years later in New York City. I'm drawn to him because of his way with characters and their relationships with each other.
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Standing on a ledge again. Everyone laughs at dancing monkey with the typewriter. Not for long, though.
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Rewriting is when writing really gets to be fun. . . . In baseball you only get three swings and you're out. In rewriting, you get almost as many swings as you want and you know, sooner or later, you'll hit the ball.
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Once you've opened yourself up, it's best to go all the way.
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Sports is the only entertainment where, no matter how many times you go back, you never know the ending.
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I much prefer writing an original movie with the screen in mind to transferring a play to the screen.
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I love living. I have some problems with my life, but living is the best thing they've come up with so far.
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I understand. You work very hard two days a week and you need a five-day weekend. That's normal.
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Writers feel like a middleman, standing with pen in hand over the page. A force greater than me stands above telling me what to write. That may sound romantic, but that's how it feels.
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[When you write a play] you walk into a forest without a knife, without a compass. But . . . if you have a sense of geography, you find that you're clearing a path and getting to the right place.
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I don't use computers... I'm someone who needs to see the page right away in my hand.
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If no one ever took risks, Michaelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor.
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Sudden money is going from zero to two hundred dollars a week. The rest doesn't count.
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If you can go through life without experiencing pain you probably haven't been born yet.
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All humor is based on hostility - that's why World War Two was funny.
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A lot of your personality is formed before you're 12, obviously, but only a few of my plays use characters from my childhood. The more mature plays are affected only by my adult experiences.
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I was constantly being dragged out of movies for laughing too loud.
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Evan Handler's new book is simply wonderful. He pulls you inside his life, and you come out his very close friend.
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