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I didn't want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that's really sad.

Ned Vizzini

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Ned Vizzini
Age: 32 †
Born: 1981
Born: April 4
Died: 2013
Died: December 19
Novelist
Writer
New York City
New York
Wake
Didn
Better
Much
Really
Time
Asleep
Nightmare
Depression

More quotes by Ned Vizzini

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I've started to think it must just be chemistry, in which case we're looking for the Shift and we haven't found it yet.
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One thing I've learnt recently: how to think nothing. Here's the trick: don't have any interest in the world around you, don't have any hope for the future, and be warm.
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How would you know? Everything’s like sex. It’s the universal metaphor. To pick a lock, let me guess, you have to go slow at first, but then you have to pull off some fancy moves, and you have to stay concentrated, and you have to stick something in something, right?
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You shouldn't be able to be alive and you are. You want to trade?
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A lot of the books that I grew up reading were pretty brutal, like the Redwall books.
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My brain was all right back then it didn't get stuck in ruts.
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That made me happy. That was my Anchor.
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See, when you mess something up, you learn for the next time. It's when people compliment you that you're in trouble. That means they expect you to keep it up.
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I don't- I shake my head. (...) What? What were you going to say? This is another trick of shrinks. They never let you stop in midthought. If you open your mouth, they want to know exactly what you had the intention of saying.
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I didn't want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that's really sad. It was almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare you're so relieved. I woke up into a nightmare.
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That's all I can do. I'll keep at it and hope it gets better.
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I found myself jealous of the people who wrote the books. They were dead and they were still taking up my time. Who did they think they were?
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That's what gets me through the day. Knowing that I could do it. That I'm strong enough to do it and I can get it done.
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It’s a huge thing, this Shift, just as big as I imagined. My brain doesn’t want to think anymore all of a sudden it wants to do.
Ned Vizzini
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But some people have to get lucky just to live. And I never knew I could make anybody lucky.
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I owe her everything and I love her and I tell her these days, although every time I say it, it gets a little diluted. I think you run out of I love yous.
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Things to do today: 1) Breathe in. 2) Breathe out.
Ned Vizzini
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I had fooled myself into thinking that I was something important to the rest of the world.
Ned Vizzini
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And that was the closest I've ever come to an epiphany.
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I wasn’t gifted. Mom was wrong. I was just smart and I worked hard. I had fooled myself into thinking that was something important to the rest of the world. Other people were complicit in this ruse. Nobody had told me I was common.
Ned Vizzini