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I didn't want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that's really sad.

Ned Vizzini

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Ned Vizzini
Age: 32 †
Born: 1981
Born: April 4
Died: 2013
Died: December 19
Novelist
Writer
New York City
New York
Really
Time
Asleep
Nightmare
Depression
Wake
Didn
Better
Much

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So now live for real, Craig. Live. Live. Live. Live.
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If you can't get out of bed for long enough, people come and take your bed away
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I feel dead, wasted, awful, broken and useless. It's not the kind of feeling you forget.
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I'm going to be here until I'm cured? Life is not cured, Mr. Gilner. Life is managed.
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They've spent alot of money on me. I'm ashamed.
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How would you know? Everything’s like sex. It’s the universal metaphor. To pick a lock, let me guess, you have to go slow at first, but then you have to pull off some fancy moves, and you have to stay concentrated, and you have to stick something in something, right?
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It's such a silly little thing, the heart.
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I didn't want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that's really sad. It was almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare you're so relieved. I woke up into a nightmare.
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I'm still a nobody, when am I not going to be a nobody?
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That's what gets me through the day. Knowing that I could do it. That I'm strong enough to do it and I can get it done.
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A working brain is probably a lot like a map, where anybody can get from one place to another on the freeways. It's the nonworking brains that get blocked, that have dead ends, that are under construction like mine.
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It’s a huge thing, this Shift, just as big as I imagined. My brain doesn’t want to think anymore all of a sudden it wants to do.
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They're sort of ancillary anyway, friends. I mean, they're important -- everybody knows that the TV tells you so -- but they come and go. You lose one friend, you pick up another.
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But some people have to get lucky just to live. And I never knew I could make anybody lucky.
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Misfortune is no excuse for cruelty.
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Nobody had told me I was common.
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I can't eat and I can't sleep. I'm not doing well in terms of being a functional human, you know?
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I know a lot of famous people didn't do well at school, like James Brown he dropped out in fifth grade to be an entertainer, I respect that... but that's not going to be me. I'm not going to be able to do anything but work as hard as possible all the time and compete with everyone I know all the time to make it.
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I'm smart but not enough--just smart enough to have problems.
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I owe her everything and I love her and I tell her these days, although every time I say it, it gets a little diluted. I think you run out of I love yous.
Ned Vizzini