Quote

Most of us are taught from an early age to pay far more attention to signals coming from other people than from within. We are encouraged to ignore our own needs and wants and to concentrate on living up to others expectations.

Nathaniel Branden

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Nathaniel Branden
Age: 84 †
Born: 1930
Born: April 9
Died: 2014
Died: December 3
Academic
Non-Fiction Writer
Psychologist
Psychotherapist
Attention
Ignore
Age
Expectations
Living
Early
Others
Pay
Needs
Coming
People
Wants
Signals
Taught
Encouraged
Within
Concentrate

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To live consciously means to seek to be aware of everything that bears on our actions, purposes, values, and goals—to the best of our ability, whatever that ability may be—and to behave in accordance with that which we see and know.
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The practice of assertiveness: being authentic in our dealings with others treating our values and persons with decent respect in social contexts refusing to fake the reality of who we are or what we esteem in order to avoid disapproval the willingness to stand up for ourselves and our ideas in appropriate ways in appropriate contexts.
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If we attach more importance to what other people believe than to what we know to be true - if we value belonging over being - we will not attain authenticity.
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What is guilt? It is moral self-reproach-I did wrong when it was possible to have done otherwise.
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We tend to feel most comfortable, most at home, with people whose self esteem level resembles our own.
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Your choices have psychological consequences. The way you choose to deal with reality, truth, facts - your choice to honor or dishonor your own perceptions - registers in your mind, for good or for bad, and either confirms and strengthens your self-esteem or undermines and weakens it.
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As you grow in self-esteem, your face, manner, way of talking and moving will tend naturally to project the pleasure you take in being alive.
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For the rational, psychologically healthy man, the desire for pleasure is the desire to celebrate his control over reality. For the neurotic, the desire for pleasure is the desire to escape from reality.
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If you face life without confidence in your own powers, you succumb too easily to setbacks and adversity you lack the will to persevere.
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The higher our self-esteem, the stronger the drive to express ourselves, reflecting the sense of richness within. The lower our self-esteem, the more urgent the need to prove ourselves or to forget ourselves by living mechanically and unconsciously.
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Force, governmental coercion, is the instrument by which the ethics of altruism - the belief that the individual exists to serve others - is translated into political reality.
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If we do have realistic confidence in our mind and value, if we feel secure within ourselves, we tend to experience the world as open to us and to respond appropriately to challenges and opportunities.
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If you choose not to live self-responsibly, you count on others to make up your default. No one abjures self-responsibility on a desert island.
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Sometimes pain is easier to bear alone than happiness.
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The first love affair you must consummate is the love affair with yourself. Only then are you ready for a romantic relationship.
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The ultimate test of our integrity is not how we deal with those whom we agree but how we deal with those who we do not agree.
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Self-esteem is not a luxury it is a profound spiritual need.
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Be careful what you say to your children. They may agree with you.
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A commitment to lifelong learning is a natural expression of the practice of living consciously.
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For children mastery entails struggle. This means they must be permitted to struggle. If parents inappropriately step in to help-out of impatience or solicitude-they sabotage important learning. Among other things, the child is unlikely to discover the advantages of perseverance and self-discipline.
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