I finally learned that doing what I want isn't love. I don't want to hurt him again by acting childish.

You have to drink when it's hard dealing with things when you're sober.

Every morning I look in the mirror and make a promise to myself. To stop acting like this today. That Mi Soo is a good friend. That John only loves me. But it doesn't work that well. I feel like I'm going crazy if John even smiles at Mi Soo. Even when they sit across from one another! I really feel like I'm going to die.

I wouldn't care if he lost both his legs and was in a wheelchair. But it he's having a hard time...Then I won't see him.