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One thing about being narrow-minded: you'll never be lonely.

Mort Sahl

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Mort Sahl
Age: 97
Born: 1927
Born: May 11
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Montreal
Quebec
Morton Lyon Sahl
Narrow
Lonely
Thing
Never
Minded

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This matter of two sides to every question is bad logic and bad practice: sometimes there are no sides sometimes there are a hundred.
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We would have broken up except for the children. Who were the children? Well, she and I were.
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Everything I tell you is true, but this is factual.
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If you were the only person left on the planet, I would have to attack you. That's my job.
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I never met a man I didn't like until I met Will Rogers.
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New book on Malcolm X says we don't know how he was killed. Want to bring in the FBI. Maybe they were in already.
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Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen.
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I don't believe in good people and bad people. I believe in the better parts of people.
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In the forties, to get a girl you had to be a GI or a jock. In the fifties, to get a girl you had to be Jewish. In the sixties, to get a girl you had to be black. In the seventies, to get a girl you've got to be a girl.
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If you can't join them, beat them.
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A Yuppie is someone who believes it's courageous to eat in a restaurant that hasn't been reviewed yet.
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If anybody comes up to you and says, My kid is a conservative - why is that? you say, Remember in the 60′s when we told you if you kept using drugs your kids would be mutants?
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Reagan won because he ran against Jimmy Carter. If he ran unopposed he would have lost.
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There's so much Botox around now that you can't tell when a Jewish girl is angry!
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Every time the Russians throw an American in jail, the Committee throws an American in jail to get even.
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You haven't lived until you've died in California
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There are Russian spies here now. And if we're lucky, they'll steal some of our secrets and they'll be two years behind.
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Remember that no matter how selfish, how cruel, how unfeeling you have been today, every time you take a breath, you make a flower happy.
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Obama is running again for spite.
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If someone were to ask me for a short cut to sensuality, I would suggest he go shopping for a used 427 Shelby-Cobra. But it is only fair to warn you that of the 300 guys who switched to them in 1966, only two went back to women.
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