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I watched Ken Burns' Civil War series on PBS. My favorite segment is when Bob Hope entertains the troops at Gettysburg.

Mort Sahl

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Mort Sahl
Age: 97
Born: 1927
Born: May 11
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Montreal
Quebec
Morton Lyon Sahl
Civil
Favorite
Entertains
Series
Gettysburg
Hope
Segment
War
Burns
Bob
Troops
Watched

More quotes by Mort Sahl

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Obama is running again for spite.
Mort Sahl
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I never met a man I didn't like until I met Will Rogers.
Mort Sahl
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The New York Times is the official leak of the State Department.
Mort Sahl
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There's a danger our fiscal bankruptcy might overtake our moral bankruptcy.
Mort Sahl
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Every time the Russians throw an American in jail, the Committee throws an American in jail to get even.
Mort Sahl
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If you can't join them, beat them.
Mort Sahl
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You haven't lived until you've died in California
Mort Sahl
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I went to computer class with my Dell and I was bullied by a guy with a Mac.
Mort Sahl
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Women want their men to be cops. They want you to punish them and tell them what the limits are. The only thing that women hate worse from a man than being slapped is when you get on your knees and say you're sorry.
Mort Sahl
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Remember that no matter how selfish, how cruel, how unfeeling you have been today, every time you take a breath, you make a flower happy.
Mort Sahl
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There were four million people in the American Colonies and we had Jefferson and Franklin. Now we have over 200 million and the two top guys are Clinton and Dole. What can you draw from this? Darwin was wrong.
Mort Sahl
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If someone were to ask me for a short cut to sensuality, I would suggest he go shopping for a used 427 Shelby-Cobra. But it is only fair to warn you that of the 300 guys who switched to them in 1966, only two went back to women.
Mort Sahl
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There are Russian spies here now. And if we're lucky, they'll steal some of our secrets and they'll be two years behind.
Mort Sahl
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There's so much Botox around now that you can't tell when a Jewish girl is angry!
Mort Sahl
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New book on Malcolm X says we don't know how he was killed. Want to bring in the FBI. Maybe they were in already.
Mort Sahl
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I don't think fascism is dying for.
Mort Sahl
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In the forties, to get a girl you had to be a GI or a jock. In the fifties, to get a girl you had to be Jewish. In the sixties, to get a girl you had to be black. In the seventies, to get a girl you've got to be a girl.
Mort Sahl
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I don't believe in good people and bad people. I believe in the better parts of people.
Mort Sahl
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I don't think crucifixion is the answer. I believe in the resurrection. I like that part of the story.
Mort Sahl
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Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen.
Mort Sahl