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I watched Ken Burns' Civil War series on PBS. My favorite segment is when Bob Hope entertains the troops at Gettysburg.

Mort Sahl

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Mort Sahl
Age: 97
Born: 1927
Born: May 11
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Montreal
Quebec
Morton Lyon Sahl
Hope
Segment
War
Burns
Bob
Troops
Watched
Civil
Favorite
Entertains
Series
Gettysburg

More quotes by Mort Sahl

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The distance between taking social action and having the knowledge is as wide as the mouth of the Mississippi.
Mort Sahl
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Will Rogers…used to come out with a newspaper and pretend he was a yokel criticizing the intellectuals who ran the government. I come out with a newspaper and pretend I’m an intellectual making fun of the yokels running the government.
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In the forties, to get a girl you had to be a GI or a jock. In the fifties, to get a girl you had to be Jewish. In the sixties, to get a girl you had to be black. In the seventies, to get a girl you've got to be a girl.
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Obama says his recreation consists of reading the Constitution... looking for a loophole.
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I'm not a liberal, I'm a radical!
Mort Sahl
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Most people past college age are not atheists. It's too hard to be in society, for one thing. Because you don't get any days off. And if you're an agnostic you don't know whether you get them off or not.
Mort Sahl
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This matter of two sides to every question is bad logic and bad practice: sometimes there are no sides sometimes there are a hundred.
Mort Sahl
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New book on Malcolm X says we don't know how he was killed. Want to bring in the FBI. Maybe they were in already.
Mort Sahl
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The New York Times is the official leak of the State Department.
Mort Sahl
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There were four million people in the American Colonies and we had Jefferson and Franklin. Now we have over 200 million and the two top guys are Clinton and Dole. What can you draw from this? Darwin was wrong.
Mort Sahl
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You haven't lived until you've died in California
Mort Sahl
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If anybody comes up to you and says, My kid is a conservative - why is that? you say, Remember in the 60′s when we told you if you kept using drugs your kids would be mutants?
Mort Sahl
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I went to computer class with my Dell and I was bullied by a guy with a Mac.
Mort Sahl
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I used to go out with actresses and other female impersonators.
Mort Sahl
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If you can't join them, beat them.
Mort Sahl
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Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen.
Mort Sahl
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I found people looked better when they laughed
Mort Sahl
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There's so much Botox around now that you can't tell when a Jewish girl is angry!
Mort Sahl
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Everything I tell you is true, but this is factual.
Mort Sahl
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A conservative is someone who believes in reform. But not now.
Mort Sahl