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Women want their men to be cops. They want you to punish them and tell them what the limits are. The only thing that women hate worse from a man than being slapped is when you get on your knees and say you're sorry.

Mort Sahl

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Mort Sahl
Age: 97
Born: 1927
Born: May 11
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Montreal
Quebec
Morton Lyon Sahl
Limits
Hate
Slapped
Tell
Cops
Women
Punish
Thing
Cop
Men
Knees
Sorry
Worse

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I used to go out with actresses and other female impersonators.
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Obama said he went to Libya because of his conscience. Did anyone ever wrestle with his conscience and lose?
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This matter of two sides to every question is bad logic and bad practice: sometimes there are no sides sometimes there are a hundred.
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Obama says his recreation consists of reading the Constitution... looking for a loophole.
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I don't think crucifixion is the answer. I believe in the resurrection. I like that part of the story.
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If you can't join them, beat them.
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One thing about being narrow-minded: you'll never be lonely.
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The distance between taking social action and having the knowledge is as wide as the mouth of the Mississippi.
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A conservative is someone who believes in reform. But not now.
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I went to computer class with my Dell and I was bullied by a guy with a Mac.
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I'm not a liberal, I'm a radical!
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If anybody comes up to you and says, My kid is a conservative - why is that? you say, Remember in the 60′s when we told you if you kept using drugs your kids would be mutants?
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If someone were to ask me for a short cut to sensuality, I would suggest he go shopping for a used 427 Shelby-Cobra. But it is only fair to warn you that of the 300 guys who switched to them in 1966, only two went back to women.
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We would have broken up except for the children. Who were the children? Well, she and I were.
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There were four million people in the American Colonies and we had Jefferson and Franklin. Now we have over 200 million and the two top guys are Clinton and Dole. What can you draw from this? Darwin was wrong.
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Most people past college age are not atheists. It's too hard to be in society, for one thing. Because you don't get any days off. And if you're an agnostic you don't know whether you get them off or not.
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There's so much Botox around now that you can't tell when a Jewish girl is angry!
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I never met a man I didn't like until I met Will Rogers.
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I watched Ken Burns' Civil War series on PBS. My favorite segment is when Bob Hope entertains the troops at Gettysburg.
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I don't believe in good people and bad people. I believe in the better parts of people.
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