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Women want their men to be cops. They want you to punish them and tell them what the limits are. The only thing that women hate worse from a man than being slapped is when you get on your knees and say you're sorry.

Mort Sahl

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Mort Sahl
Age: 97
Born: 1927
Born: May 11
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Montreal
Quebec
Morton Lyon Sahl
Tell
Cops
Women
Punish
Thing
Cop
Men
Knees
Sorry
Worse
Limits
Hate
Slapped

More quotes by Mort Sahl

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I watched Ken Burns' Civil War series on PBS. My favorite segment is when Bob Hope entertains the troops at Gettysburg.
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That feeling of hopelessness only serves your masters.
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Remember that no matter how selfish, how cruel, how unfeeling you have been today, every time you take a breath, you make a flower happy.
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Nixon's the kind of guy that if you were drowning fifty feet off shore, he'd throw you a thirty foot rope. Then Kissinger would go on TV the next night and say that the President had met you more than half-way.
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In the forties, to get a girl you had to be a GI or a jock. In the fifties, to get a girl you had to be Jewish. In the sixties, to get a girl you had to be black. In the seventies, to get a girl you've got to be a girl.
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If anybody comes up to you and says, My kid is a conservative - why is that? you say, Remember in the 60′s when we told you if you kept using drugs your kids would be mutants?
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New book on Malcolm X says we don't know how he was killed. Want to bring in the FBI. Maybe they were in already.
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I don't think crucifixion is the answer. I believe in the resurrection. I like that part of the story.
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A Yuppie is someone who believes it's courageous to eat in a restaurant that hasn't been reviewed yet.
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If someone were to ask me for a short cut to sensuality, I would suggest he go shopping for a used 427 Shelby-Cobra. But it is only fair to warn you that of the 300 guys who switched to them in 1966, only two went back to women.
Mort Sahl
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If you were the only person left on the planet, I would have to attack you. That's my job.
Mort Sahl
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There's so much Botox around now that you can't tell when a Jewish girl is angry!
Mort Sahl
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Obama says his recreation consists of reading the Constitution... looking for a loophole.
Mort Sahl
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We would have broken up except for the children. Who were the children? Well, she and I were.
Mort Sahl
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Every time the Russians throw an American in jail, the Committee throws an American in jail to get even.
Mort Sahl
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The distance between taking social action and having the knowledge is as wide as the mouth of the Mississippi.
Mort Sahl
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We all know that America is the worst country in the world, except for all the others.
Mort Sahl
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There were four million people in the American Colonies and we had Jefferson and Franklin. Now we have over 200 million and the two top guys are Clinton and Dole. What can you draw from this? Darwin was wrong.
Mort Sahl
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I found people looked better when they laughed
Mort Sahl
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Everything I tell you is true, but this is factual.
Mort Sahl