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If anybody comes up to you and says, My kid is a conservative - why is that? you say, Remember in the 60′s when we told you if you kept using drugs your kids would be mutants?
Mort Sahl
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Mort Sahl
Age: 97
Born: 1927
Born: May 11
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Montreal
Quebec
Morton Lyon Sahl
Would
Using
Drug
Anybody
Told
Says
Mutants
Comes
Drugs
Kids
Kept
Remember
Conservative
More quotes by Mort Sahl
Everything I tell you is true, but this is factual.
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Remember that no matter how selfish, how cruel, how unfeeling you have been today, every time you take a breath, you make a flower happy.
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That feeling of hopelessness only serves your masters.
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I don't think crucifixion is the answer. I believe in the resurrection. I like that part of the story.
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Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen.
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The distance between taking social action and having the knowledge is as wide as the mouth of the Mississippi.
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Obama said he went to Libya because of his conscience. Did anyone ever wrestle with his conscience and lose?
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I'm for capital punishment. You've got to execute people. How else are they going to learn?
Mort Sahl
I never met a man I didn't like until I met Will Rogers.
Mort Sahl
Reagan won because he ran against Jimmy Carter. If he ran unopposed he would have lost.
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In the forties, to get a girl you had to be a GI or a jock. In the fifties, to get a girl you had to be Jewish. In the sixties, to get a girl you had to be black. In the seventies, to get a girl you've got to be a girl.
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I went to computer class with my Dell and I was bullied by a guy with a Mac.
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Most people past college age are not atheists. It's too hard to be in society, for one thing. Because you don't get any days off. And if you're an agnostic you don't know whether you get them off or not.
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There's so much Botox around now that you can't tell when a Jewish girl is angry!
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I found people looked better when they laughed
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If someone were to ask me for a short cut to sensuality, I would suggest he go shopping for a used 427 Shelby-Cobra. But it is only fair to warn you that of the 300 guys who switched to them in 1966, only two went back to women.
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Obama says his recreation consists of reading the Constitution... looking for a loophole.
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If you can't join them, beat them.
Mort Sahl
My whole life is a movie. It's just that there are no dissolves. I have to live every agonizing moment of it. My life needs editing.
Mort Sahl
We all know that America is the worst country in the world, except for all the others.
Mort Sahl