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Every time the Russians throw an American in jail, the Committee throws an American in jail to get even.

Mort Sahl

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Mort Sahl
Age: 97
Born: 1927
Born: May 11
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Montreal
Quebec
Morton Lyon Sahl
Time
Russians
Committee
Committees
Jail
Throw
American
Even
Every
Throws

More quotes by Mort Sahl

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I went to computer class with my Dell and I was bullied by a guy with a Mac.
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There were four million people in the American Colonies and we had Jefferson and Franklin. Now we have over 200 million and the two top guys are Clinton and Dole. What can you draw from this? Darwin was wrong.
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A conservative is someone who believes in reform. But not now.
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We would have broken up except for the children. Who were the children? Well, she and I were.
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Most people past college age are not atheists. It's too hard to be in society, for one thing. Because you don't get any days off. And if you're an agnostic you don't know whether you get them off or not.
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There are Russian spies here now. And if we're lucky, they'll steal some of our secrets and they'll be two years behind.
Mort Sahl
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Obama is running again for spite.
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A Yuppie is someone who believes it's courageous to eat in a restaurant that hasn't been reviewed yet.
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I'm not a liberal, I'm a radical!
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I don't think crucifixion is the answer. I believe in the resurrection. I like that part of the story.
Mort Sahl
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If you can't join them, beat them.
Mort Sahl
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That feeling of hopelessness only serves your masters.
Mort Sahl
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I'm for capital punishment. You've got to execute people. How else are they going to learn?
Mort Sahl
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If you were the only person left on the planet, I would have to attack you. That's my job.
Mort Sahl
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Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen.
Mort Sahl
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My whole life is a movie. It's just that there are no dissolves. I have to live every agonizing moment of it. My life needs editing.
Mort Sahl
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I found people looked better when they laughed
Mort Sahl
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Nixon's the kind of guy that if you were drowning fifty feet off shore, he'd throw you a thirty foot rope. Then Kissinger would go on TV the next night and say that the President had met you more than half-way.
Mort Sahl
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Obama says his recreation consists of reading the Constitution... looking for a loophole.
Mort Sahl
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You haven't lived until you've died in California
Mort Sahl