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Every time the Russians throw an American in jail, the Committee throws an American in jail to get even.

Mort Sahl

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Mort Sahl
Age: 97
Born: 1927
Born: May 11
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Montreal
Quebec
Morton Lyon Sahl
Jail
Throw
American
Even
Every
Throws
Time
Russians
Committee
Committees

More quotes by Mort Sahl

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Everything I tell you is true, but this is factual.
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New book on Malcolm X says we don't know how he was killed. Want to bring in the FBI. Maybe they were in already.
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Obama says his recreation consists of reading the Constitution... looking for a loophole.
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If you can't join them, beat them.
Mort Sahl
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If anybody comes up to you and says, My kid is a conservative - why is that? you say, Remember in the 60′s when we told you if you kept using drugs your kids would be mutants?
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Will Rogers…used to come out with a newspaper and pretend he was a yokel criticizing the intellectuals who ran the government. I come out with a newspaper and pretend I’m an intellectual making fun of the yokels running the government.
Mort Sahl
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I watched Ken Burns' Civil War series on PBS. My favorite segment is when Bob Hope entertains the troops at Gettysburg.
Mort Sahl
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The New York Times is the official leak of the State Department.
Mort Sahl
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I went to computer class with my Dell and I was bullied by a guy with a Mac.
Mort Sahl
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I don't think crucifixion is the answer. I believe in the resurrection. I like that part of the story.
Mort Sahl
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I don't believe in good people and bad people. I believe in the better parts of people.
Mort Sahl
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My whole life is a movie. It's just that there are no dissolves. I have to live every agonizing moment of it. My life needs editing.
Mort Sahl
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If someone were to ask me for a short cut to sensuality, I would suggest he go shopping for a used 427 Shelby-Cobra. But it is only fair to warn you that of the 300 guys who switched to them in 1966, only two went back to women.
Mort Sahl
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I'm for capital punishment. You've got to execute people. How else are they going to learn?
Mort Sahl
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There's so much Botox around now that you can't tell when a Jewish girl is angry!
Mort Sahl
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Remember that no matter how selfish, how cruel, how unfeeling you have been today, every time you take a breath, you make a flower happy.
Mort Sahl
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Obama is running again for spite.
Mort Sahl
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There's a danger our fiscal bankruptcy might overtake our moral bankruptcy.
Mort Sahl
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This matter of two sides to every question is bad logic and bad practice: sometimes there are no sides sometimes there are a hundred.
Mort Sahl
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If you were the only person left on the planet, I would have to attack you. That's my job.
Mort Sahl