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I never met a man I didn't like until I met Will Rogers.

Mort Sahl

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Mort Sahl
Age: 97
Born: 1927
Born: May 11
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Montreal
Quebec
Morton Lyon Sahl
Men
Like
Rogers
Gravestone
Tombstone
Roger
Mets
Didn
Never

More quotes by Mort Sahl

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I went to computer class with my Dell and I was bullied by a guy with a Mac.
Mort Sahl
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I don't think crucifixion is the answer. I believe in the resurrection. I like that part of the story.
Mort Sahl
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My whole life is a movie. It's just that there are no dissolves. I have to live every agonizing moment of it. My life needs editing.
Mort Sahl
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There were four million people in the American Colonies and we had Jefferson and Franklin. Now we have over 200 million and the two top guys are Clinton and Dole. What can you draw from this? Darwin was wrong.
Mort Sahl
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If you were the only person left on the planet, I would have to attack you. That's my job.
Mort Sahl
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I don't believe in good people and bad people. I believe in the better parts of people.
Mort Sahl
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This matter of two sides to every question is bad logic and bad practice: sometimes there are no sides sometimes there are a hundred.
Mort Sahl
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I'm for capital punishment. You've got to execute people. How else are they going to learn?
Mort Sahl
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A conservative is someone who believes in reform. But not now.
Mort Sahl
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If you can't join them, beat them.
Mort Sahl
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If anybody comes up to you and says, My kid is a conservative - why is that? you say, Remember in the 60′s when we told you if you kept using drugs your kids would be mutants?
Mort Sahl
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I'm not a liberal, I'm a radical!
Mort Sahl
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That feeling of hopelessness only serves your masters.
Mort Sahl
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I found people looked better when they laughed
Mort Sahl
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There are Russian spies here now. And if we're lucky, they'll steal some of our secrets and they'll be two years behind.
Mort Sahl
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Most people past college age are not atheists. It's too hard to be in society, for one thing. Because you don't get any days off. And if you're an agnostic you don't know whether you get them off or not.
Mort Sahl
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Every time the Russians throw an American in jail, the Committee throws an American in jail to get even.
Mort Sahl
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Women want their men to be cops. They want you to punish them and tell them what the limits are. The only thing that women hate worse from a man than being slapped is when you get on your knees and say you're sorry.
Mort Sahl
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If someone were to ask me for a short cut to sensuality, I would suggest he go shopping for a used 427 Shelby-Cobra. But it is only fair to warn you that of the 300 guys who switched to them in 1966, only two went back to women.
Mort Sahl
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We would have broken up except for the children. Who were the children? Well, she and I were.
Mort Sahl