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If you were the only person left on the planet, I would have to attack you. That's my job.

Mort Sahl

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Mort Sahl
Age: 97
Born: 1927
Born: May 11
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Montreal
Quebec
Morton Lyon Sahl
Planets
Jobs
Left
Persons
Person
Would
Attack
Planet

More quotes by Mort Sahl

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If anybody comes up to you and says, My kid is a conservative - why is that? you say, Remember in the 60′s when we told you if you kept using drugs your kids would be mutants?
Mort Sahl
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Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen.
Mort Sahl
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I don't think crucifixion is the answer. I believe in the resurrection. I like that part of the story.
Mort Sahl
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I never met a man I didn't like until I met Will Rogers.
Mort Sahl
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I don't believe in good people and bad people. I believe in the better parts of people.
Mort Sahl
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Will Rogers…used to come out with a newspaper and pretend he was a yokel criticizing the intellectuals who ran the government. I come out with a newspaper and pretend I’m an intellectual making fun of the yokels running the government.
Mort Sahl
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The distance between taking social action and having the knowledge is as wide as the mouth of the Mississippi.
Mort Sahl
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Every time the Russians throw an American in jail, the Committee throws an American in jail to get even.
Mort Sahl
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I used to go out with actresses and other female impersonators.
Mort Sahl
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If you can't join them, beat them.
Mort Sahl
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I don't think fascism is dying for.
Mort Sahl
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You haven't lived until you've died in California
Mort Sahl
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We all know that America is the worst country in the world, except for all the others.
Mort Sahl
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There are Russian spies here now. And if we're lucky, they'll steal some of our secrets and they'll be two years behind.
Mort Sahl
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A Yuppie is someone who believes it's courageous to eat in a restaurant that hasn't been reviewed yet.
Mort Sahl
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This matter of two sides to every question is bad logic and bad practice: sometimes there are no sides sometimes there are a hundred.
Mort Sahl
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Obama says his recreation consists of reading the Constitution... looking for a loophole.
Mort Sahl
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The New York Times is the official leak of the State Department.
Mort Sahl
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Most people past college age are not atheists. It's too hard to be in society, for one thing. Because you don't get any days off. And if you're an agnostic you don't know whether you get them off or not.
Mort Sahl
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My whole life is a movie. It's just that there are no dissolves. I have to live every agonizing moment of it. My life needs editing.
Mort Sahl