Quote

If you were the only person left on the planet, I would have to attack you. That's my job.

Mort Sahl

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Mort Sahl
Age: 97
Born: 1927
Born: May 11
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Montreal
Quebec
Morton Lyon Sahl
Would
Attack
Planet
Planets
Jobs
Left
Persons
Person

More quotes by Mort Sahl

Image
There were four million people in the American Colonies and we had Jefferson and Franklin. Now we have over 200 million and the two top guys are Clinton and Dole. What can you draw from this? Darwin was wrong.
Mort Sahl
Image
There's a danger our fiscal bankruptcy might overtake our moral bankruptcy.
Mort Sahl
Image
If you can't join them, beat them.
Mort Sahl
Image
Obama is running again for spite.
Mort Sahl
Image
I don't think crucifixion is the answer. I believe in the resurrection. I like that part of the story.
Mort Sahl
Image
I'm for capital punishment. You've got to execute people. How else are they going to learn?
Mort Sahl
Image
Remember that no matter how selfish, how cruel, how unfeeling you have been today, every time you take a breath, you make a flower happy.
Mort Sahl
Image
I found people looked better when they laughed
Mort Sahl
Image
In the forties, to get a girl you had to be a GI or a jock. In the fifties, to get a girl you had to be Jewish. In the sixties, to get a girl you had to be black. In the seventies, to get a girl you've got to be a girl.
Mort Sahl
Image
Everything I tell you is true, but this is factual.
Mort Sahl
Image
I don't believe in good people and bad people. I believe in the better parts of people.
Mort Sahl
Image
A Yuppie is someone who believes it's courageous to eat in a restaurant that hasn't been reviewed yet.
Mort Sahl
Image
Nixon's the kind of guy that if you were drowning fifty feet off shore, he'd throw you a thirty foot rope. Then Kissinger would go on TV the next night and say that the President had met you more than half-way.
Mort Sahl
Image
Will Rogers…used to come out with a newspaper and pretend he was a yokel criticizing the intellectuals who ran the government. I come out with a newspaper and pretend I’m an intellectual making fun of the yokels running the government.
Mort Sahl
Image
If someone were to ask me for a short cut to sensuality, I would suggest he go shopping for a used 427 Shelby-Cobra. But it is only fair to warn you that of the 300 guys who switched to them in 1966, only two went back to women.
Mort Sahl
Image
There are Russian spies here now. And if we're lucky, they'll steal some of our secrets and they'll be two years behind.
Mort Sahl
Image
That feeling of hopelessness only serves your masters.
Mort Sahl
Image
My whole life is a movie. It's just that there are no dissolves. I have to live every agonizing moment of it. My life needs editing.
Mort Sahl
Image
Most people past college age are not atheists. It's too hard to be in society, for one thing. Because you don't get any days off. And if you're an agnostic you don't know whether you get them off or not.
Mort Sahl
Image
Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen.
Mort Sahl