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I don't think crucifixion is the answer. I believe in the resurrection. I like that part of the story.
Mort Sahl
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Mort Sahl
Age: 97
Born: 1927
Born: May 11
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Montreal
Quebec
Morton Lyon Sahl
Think
Crucifixion
Thinking
Resurrection
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Believe
More quotes by Mort Sahl
If you were the only person left on the planet, I would have to attack you. That's my job.
Mort Sahl
Nixon's the kind of guy that if you were drowning fifty feet off shore, he'd throw you a thirty foot rope. Then Kissinger would go on TV the next night and say that the President had met you more than half-way.
Mort Sahl
I'm for capital punishment. You've got to execute people. How else are they going to learn?
Mort Sahl
In the forties, to get a girl you had to be a GI or a jock. In the fifties, to get a girl you had to be Jewish. In the sixties, to get a girl you had to be black. In the seventies, to get a girl you've got to be a girl.
Mort Sahl
I used to go out with actresses and other female impersonators.
Mort Sahl
We all know that America is the worst country in the world, except for all the others.
Mort Sahl
A conservative is someone who believes in reform. But not now.
Mort Sahl
Remember that no matter how selfish, how cruel, how unfeeling you have been today, every time you take a breath, you make a flower happy.
Mort Sahl
That feeling of hopelessness only serves your masters.
Mort Sahl
Most people past college age are not atheists. It's too hard to be in society, for one thing. Because you don't get any days off. And if you're an agnostic you don't know whether you get them off or not.
Mort Sahl
Everything I tell you is true, but this is factual.
Mort Sahl
A Yuppie is someone who believes it's courageous to eat in a restaurant that hasn't been reviewed yet.
Mort Sahl
My whole life is a movie. It's just that there are no dissolves. I have to live every agonizing moment of it. My life needs editing.
Mort Sahl
There's so much Botox around now that you can't tell when a Jewish girl is angry!
Mort Sahl
We would have broken up except for the children. Who were the children? Well, she and I were.
Mort Sahl
I went to computer class with my Dell and I was bullied by a guy with a Mac.
Mort Sahl
Obama says his recreation consists of reading the Constitution... looking for a loophole.
Mort Sahl
I never met a man I didn't like until I met Will Rogers.
Mort Sahl
One thing about being narrow-minded: you'll never be lonely.
Mort Sahl
You haven't lived until you've died in California
Mort Sahl