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I went to computer class with my Dell and I was bullied by a guy with a Mac.

Mort Sahl

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Mort Sahl
Age: 97
Born: 1927
Born: May 11
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Montreal
Quebec
Morton Lyon Sahl
Went
Class
Guy
Dell
Macs
Bullied
Computer

More quotes by Mort Sahl

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Every time the Russians throw an American in jail, the Committee throws an American in jail to get even.
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I'm for capital punishment. You've got to execute people. How else are they going to learn?
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Reagan won because he ran against Jimmy Carter. If he ran unopposed he would have lost.
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I never met a man I didn't like until I met Will Rogers.
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Remember that no matter how selfish, how cruel, how unfeeling you have been today, every time you take a breath, you make a flower happy.
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I used to go out with actresses and other female impersonators.
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We all know that America is the worst country in the world, except for all the others.
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Obama says his recreation consists of reading the Constitution... looking for a loophole.
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In the forties, to get a girl you had to be a GI or a jock. In the fifties, to get a girl you had to be Jewish. In the sixties, to get a girl you had to be black. In the seventies, to get a girl you've got to be a girl.
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If anybody comes up to you and says, My kid is a conservative - why is that? you say, Remember in the 60′s when we told you if you kept using drugs your kids would be mutants?
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We would have broken up except for the children. Who were the children? Well, she and I were.
Mort Sahl
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That feeling of hopelessness only serves your masters.
Mort Sahl
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Most people past college age are not atheists. It's too hard to be in society, for one thing. Because you don't get any days off. And if you're an agnostic you don't know whether you get them off or not.
Mort Sahl
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Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen.
Mort Sahl
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If you can't join them, beat them.
Mort Sahl
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My whole life is a movie. It's just that there are no dissolves. I have to live every agonizing moment of it. My life needs editing.
Mort Sahl
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If you were the only person left on the planet, I would have to attack you. That's my job.
Mort Sahl
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A Yuppie is someone who believes it's courageous to eat in a restaurant that hasn't been reviewed yet.
Mort Sahl
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Everything I tell you is true, but this is factual.
Mort Sahl
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Nixon's the kind of guy that if you were drowning fifty feet off shore, he'd throw you a thirty foot rope. Then Kissinger would go on TV the next night and say that the President had met you more than half-way.
Mort Sahl