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Remember that no matter how selfish, how cruel, how unfeeling you have been today, every time you take a breath, you make a flower happy.
Mort Sahl
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Mort Sahl
Age: 97
Born: 1927
Born: May 11
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Montreal
Quebec
Morton Lyon Sahl
Remember
Today
Unfeeling
Matter
Cruel
Take
Selfish
Every
Breath
Make
Breaths
Time
Flower
Happy
More quotes by Mort Sahl
I used to go out with actresses and other female impersonators.
Mort Sahl
Obama is running again for spite.
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Will Rogers…used to come out with a newspaper and pretend he was a yokel criticizing the intellectuals who ran the government. I come out with a newspaper and pretend I’m an intellectual making fun of the yokels running the government.
Mort Sahl
I don't think fascism is dying for.
Mort Sahl
If you can't join them, beat them.
Mort Sahl
One thing about being narrow-minded: you'll never be lonely.
Mort Sahl
In the forties, to get a girl you had to be a GI or a jock. In the fifties, to get a girl you had to be Jewish. In the sixties, to get a girl you had to be black. In the seventies, to get a girl you've got to be a girl.
Mort Sahl
I went to computer class with my Dell and I was bullied by a guy with a Mac.
Mort Sahl
I don't think crucifixion is the answer. I believe in the resurrection. I like that part of the story.
Mort Sahl
Everything I tell you is true, but this is factual.
Mort Sahl
There were four million people in the American Colonies and we had Jefferson and Franklin. Now we have over 200 million and the two top guys are Clinton and Dole. What can you draw from this? Darwin was wrong.
Mort Sahl
There's so much Botox around now that you can't tell when a Jewish girl is angry!
Mort Sahl
A conservative is someone who believes in reform. But not now.
Mort Sahl
I'm for capital punishment. You've got to execute people. How else are they going to learn?
Mort Sahl
Nixon's the kind of guy that if you were drowning fifty feet off shore, he'd throw you a thirty foot rope. Then Kissinger would go on TV the next night and say that the President had met you more than half-way.
Mort Sahl
I watched Ken Burns' Civil War series on PBS. My favorite segment is when Bob Hope entertains the troops at Gettysburg.
Mort Sahl
A Yuppie is someone who believes it's courageous to eat in a restaurant that hasn't been reviewed yet.
Mort Sahl
If anybody comes up to you and says, My kid is a conservative - why is that? you say, Remember in the 60′s when we told you if you kept using drugs your kids would be mutants?
Mort Sahl
If you were the only person left on the planet, I would have to attack you. That's my job.
Mort Sahl
That feeling of hopelessness only serves your masters.
Mort Sahl