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Remember that no matter how selfish, how cruel, how unfeeling you have been today, every time you take a breath, you make a flower happy.

Mort Sahl

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Mort Sahl
Age: 97
Born: 1927
Born: May 11
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Montreal
Quebec
Morton Lyon Sahl
Remember
Today
Unfeeling
Matter
Cruel
Take
Selfish
Every
Breath
Make
Breaths
Time
Flower
Happy

More quotes by Mort Sahl

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Will Rogers…used to come out with a newspaper and pretend he was a yokel criticizing the intellectuals who ran the government. I come out with a newspaper and pretend I’m an intellectual making fun of the yokels running the government.
Mort Sahl
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My whole life is a movie. It's just that there are no dissolves. I have to live every agonizing moment of it. My life needs editing.
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A Yuppie is someone who believes it's courageous to eat in a restaurant that hasn't been reviewed yet.
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Everything I tell you is true, but this is factual.
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I don't think crucifixion is the answer. I believe in the resurrection. I like that part of the story.
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Every time the Russians throw an American in jail, the Committee throws an American in jail to get even.
Mort Sahl
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We all know that America is the worst country in the world, except for all the others.
Mort Sahl
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I'm for capital punishment. You've got to execute people. How else are they going to learn?
Mort Sahl
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We would have broken up except for the children. Who were the children? Well, she and I were.
Mort Sahl
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If you can't join them, beat them.
Mort Sahl
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There are Russian spies here now. And if we're lucky, they'll steal some of our secrets and they'll be two years behind.
Mort Sahl
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If someone were to ask me for a short cut to sensuality, I would suggest he go shopping for a used 427 Shelby-Cobra. But it is only fair to warn you that of the 300 guys who switched to them in 1966, only two went back to women.
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I found people looked better when they laughed
Mort Sahl
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Nixon's the kind of guy that if you were drowning fifty feet off shore, he'd throw you a thirty foot rope. Then Kissinger would go on TV the next night and say that the President had met you more than half-way.
Mort Sahl
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You haven't lived until you've died in California
Mort Sahl
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Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen.
Mort Sahl
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Most people past college age are not atheists. It's too hard to be in society, for one thing. Because you don't get any days off. And if you're an agnostic you don't know whether you get them off or not.
Mort Sahl
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Obama says his recreation consists of reading the Constitution... looking for a loophole.
Mort Sahl
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I never met a man I didn't like until I met Will Rogers.
Mort Sahl
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I used to go out with actresses and other female impersonators.
Mort Sahl